If Only Someone Had Told Me - Part II

Back in September, I posted a blog concerning little known facts I wish someone had shared with me over the past year. Tid bits of information that is valuable to young, newlyweds who recently purchased a home. I’m still working on a collection of these truths to one day create a book. Someone should share this knowledge with the inexperienced, up and coming public. Over the past two months I have learned many new lessons that I feel are only fair to pass along. Get a pen – these are good.

- Day Light Saving Time occurs twice a year. On the first Sunday in March, you should set your clocks forward an hour. On the first Sunday in November, you should set your clocks back an hour. One would think that with all the technology readily available to society, someone would have determined a way for the standard, $10 alarm clock to automatically adjust for Day Light Saving Time changes in March & November – but no. Don’t expect a phone call from mom to remind you to change your clocks (although she always did this in college). Do not rely on the media to provide helpful reminders days leading up to the change – they will inevitably let you down. Apparently this is a piece of information that all adults are expected to remember each year without reminder. So remember – otherwise you might be the unfortunate sole who shows up to church an hour early. Guess it’s the perfect opportunity for some breakfast!

- When attempting to “do it yourself” and fix minor plumbing issues, it is best to cut the water to your entire house. One might think that turn off the water to the toilet should be enough; however, it is very likely that the cause for your leaky toilet might actually be a broken water valve. In which case, you might *think* you have turned off water supply to the toilet, when in fact the water is still running freely. This can cause BIG problems when you remove the pipe that you believe to be the source of leak. Please take this word of advice. Otherwise you might find yourself (as I did in October) standing in two inches of water trying desperately to stop the gushing water that is raging from the water pipe in your guest bathroom while your husband frantically searches for the main water line in the dark to avoid flooding the entire house. Sure, everybody loves a good “We’ll laugh about this someday” moment – but not at 10pm while your guest bathroom, office & guest bedroom spill over with free flowing water and your boxer puppies scamper through the mounds of water like kids in a water park. Trust me on this one – better safe than soaked!

- For all new wives who dream of one day hosting Thanksgiving dinner at their house – DON’T! I still have not had the “pleasure” of hosting this wonderful holiday at my home – but I did experience a small taste of how stressful planning & cooking a meal of that magnitude can be. My mother-in-law recently had ankle surgery and was unable to stand for long periods of time in order to cook the Thanksgiving feast. I gladly volunteered to take on the challenge hoping this would be my opportunity to shine in the kitchen and learn the secrets of her amazing cooking. I learned the secrets alright! Burning yourself multiple times, standing on your feet for hours on end, chopping, grinding, stirring, blending. You even have to mix the dressing with your hands (yes – I almost threw up!) Somehow in the mix of all the mayhem, you must make sure that every dish is placed in the oven at exactly the correct time at the right temperature so that everything comes out of the oven piping hot and ready to be served all at the same time. AND you have to clean up after yourself as you go along. (Since when do kitchens not clean themselves – aren’t the husbands supposed to clean if the wife cooks??) Did I mention that this cooking actually spanned two days? We cooked all night Wednesday evening and began again Thursday morning. I mean honestly, by the time the meal was served I was so exhausted that I barely had an appetite. I didn’t even eat a piece of pumpkin pie for Pete’s sake. Give me a Thanksgiving feast that magically prepares itself at someone else’s house any day. Who needs praise and glory?? I’ll take lazy and blissfully full please!

- I’ve mentioned the little known wonders of car insurance before, but I have two new uses to add to the list. Most comprehensive plans also reimburse policy holders for lockouts & towing!! It may not sound like the coolest perk in the world, but it certainly comes in handy. Let’s say for example, Wife A drives around with both sets of keys in her car for a week solid. Yes, Husband B has said numerous times that Wife A should not have both sets of keys in her car because she will be out of luck if she locks her keys in the car. But (as can happen) Wife A. is very busy and distracted and does not heed Husband B’s warning. Well wouldn’t you know when both sets of keys get locked in the car Husband B might have a tendency to become more than furious with Wife A? The only saving grace for me Wife A was that the $60 it cost to have my her doors unlocked was reimbursed by the insurance company. Thank the Lord for kind locksmiths who feel bad for poor little wives who lock themselves out of the car – he was kind enough to tell me to call my insurance company!

So there you have my most recent bits of valuable information. I hope they are able to save someone a little time and frustration – because Lord knows I have spent a good deal of time fuming over the stress these life lessons have caused me!