Something's Gotta Give

I realized last night that I have raised a monster. I don’t blame myself entirely – Steven is equally at fault here. Somehow over the past year and a half we have allowed Dixie to become the leading lady in our home – and I think it’s time I put my foot down and show her who is boss.

Please don’t misunderstand – I *love* that dog. She is like a child to me and if, heaven forbid, she were to ever pass away I would call my boss and tell him that I would be out of the office the next three days grieving the loss of my child and I would be taking my employer provided bereavement days (and I would completely expect him to understand!)

With that being said – something has got to give. I truly believe that Dixie thinks the order in our house is as follows: Steven (all mighty, loving Daddy who never does anything wrong), Dixie (next in line directly beneath Daddy and never to be questioned), Amber (she’s okay – she feeds me and sometimes I will listen to her if I feel like it) and last Bauer (the pet of the family – because, after all, he is only a dog.) Yeah – that about sums it up. In Dixie’s opinion, Steven’s love and affection belongs to her – not me.

For example, after four long days away on business, Steven came home last Thursday evening. I was so happy to see him that I ran straight to him when I got home and planted a huge wet one on him. You know, one of those good kisses where you just kind of melt into each other. (Probably TMI here – sorry if any of our parents are reading this!) But it was just a great, much needed, long overdue kiss. About 30 seconds into our kiss I noticed the most awful whining/moaning/growling sound. From the corner of my eye I saw Dixie on the couch closest to us and her entire body was shaking with anxiety. I pulled away from Steven and she continued to moan – she looked as if she was considering leaping off the couch into Steven’s arms. I started to kiss Steven again and she started to wail even louder. I mean really Dixie! Can’t mama get a little lovin’ without all hell breaking lose?

As if it weren’t difficult enough to try and get a good smooch with Dixie’s dramatic little show, Bauer joined in on the fun. I don’t think Bauer likes it when Steven hugs me. I don’t know if he perceives it as a sign of aggression (because usually when we “hug” we’re actually wrestling or tickling and I’m screaming for Steven to stop) or if Bauer just doesn’t like Steven touching me – but either way, he isn’t too fond of Steven hugging me. So about 10 seconds into round two of our attempt at smooching, Bauer started barking. A quick glance out of the corner of my left eye confirmed that he was in fact pouncing back and forth, left to right and barking the entire time.

So there we were – Dixie moaning, Bauer barking, doing our best to have a somewhat romantic, “I missed you so much” moment and it just wasn’t happening. It was an incredibly frustrating, albeit somewhat entertaining, moment.

Which brings me to my realization: I tried to cuddle up with Steven on the couch last night for the premier of 24. As soon as Dixie saw me leave my chair and approach the couch she threw herself in front of Steven and sprawled out across him. She planted her face directly in front of Steven’s face as if trying to block me from him view. Her eyes followed as I approached the couch - daring me to make my move. She made a HUGE ordeal of stomping around the living room in a huff when I threw her off the couch and laid down next to Steven. Within 5 minutes she back on the couch between the two of us.

I swear – something is going to have to give. If I’m not careful, one day soon I will have a blonde haired, blue-eyed little girl running around my house with Daddy wrapped around her little finger and I’ll be sleeping on the floor with Bauer…..