I’m not in a good place right now. For reasons that I can’t go into on the blog, the past year has been full of unexpected curve balls, surprise dramas and difficult decision after difficult decision.
I’ve had enough and I’m being a baby about it. One day in my memoirs I’ll provide full disclosure, but for the time being, I’m just going to be unreasonable and pout.
Notice how I haven’t been blogging? Yes, I am incredibly busy with the new job and don’t have a great deal of time, but if I’m honest that’s not the true reason for my absence.
Truth is – I don’t have anything good to say and I don’t have the energy to fake it.
I feel like I’m experiencing a quarter life crisis. I went full on Bethenney yesterday. (Anyone watch Bethenney Ever After? Bethenney Frankel - love her – but her meltdowns can be a bit much. I refer to these moments in my life as a “Bethenney” moment.)
So back to my Bethenney moment.
I was texting Steven about my issues with my knee. It’s still bothering me. I haven’t worked out in five weeks….that’s right five weeks. I rested the knee completely for two weeks and have now seen a physical therapist for the past three weeks. Per my PT’s orders I have not worn heels in four weeks….that’s right four weeks. I have spent over $300 on treatment for my knee and it’s getting worse……….
Steven and I signed up to run the Charlotte Metrodash with another couple from our gym on June 11th. I seriously doubt I will be able to compete. Steven keeps telling me to go see a doctor and get a cortisone shot and my knee will feel just fine for the race. He doesn’t seem to get that I actually feel a dull pain in my knee with every step that I take and the thought of running or jumping makes me want to cry.
And yesterday while sitting at my office…..I had enough….and the texting began……
After ten minutes of texting him about my research regarding techniques called scraping or augmented soft tissue mobilization or the possibility of seeing a chiropractor for possible relief the conversation ended with melodramatic tears streaming down my face and the following:
Me 1:30PM: I just don’t know what to do and I’m getting so frustrated.
Steven 1:31PM: Just relax and be patient.
Me 1:33PM: I’ve been $#%& patient for five weeks.
Steven 1:33PM: Ok
Me 1:33PM: I’m going to talk to Dr. Walker tonight and let him know I am not happy with this course of treatment. I’m going to ask him about scraping or other more intensive options that we can do.
Me 1:35PM: It’s getting worse. I know you think I’m exaggerating but I really cannot do anything on it and I have this constant dull pain.
Me 1:37PM: And now my left knee is bothering me and I think it’s because of the $*#!@ flat shoes I am wearing. I have never been able to wear flats. They hurt my feet.
Me 1:39PM : I can’t find flat shoes to fit me. I can’t wear heels. I keep spending money buying new shoes that are super ugly and even those $#@&! shoes hurt my feet which makes my knees hurt more. And I have spent $300 on PT that hasn’t done a #$^@& thing. I’m seriously worried all these flat shoes are making it worse. And I look super ugly walking around in flat shoes with ugly legs in the mean time.
Me 1:40PM : WHY THE #!@&$* AREN”T YOU RESPONDING TO ME?!?!?!?!
Somebody call Bravo…..I need my own reality show. Young, Fabulous & Needs To Be Sedated……
PS. If someone sees my husband wandering the streets with a sign that says Will Work For New Wife please kindly send him home. I promise to play nice from now on.....
2 weeks ago