When You're Sick & Bored.....

I've been sick with a head cold/congestion since last Thursday. Which means I spent most of my weekend in bed trying to rest. But one can only sleep so many hours during the day. After catching up on my girlie shows on the DVR, I found myself at a loss for bedridden entertainment.


That's when I realized that Time Warner Cable offers a service called "Entertainment On Demand" - which basically has all the reality TV shows from Oxygen, VH1, WE & Bravo on demand. As in - you can watch an entire season if you'd like.

So my entire day yesterday was wasted spent enthralled in two new shows: Mob Wives & Toddlers & Tiaras.

Umm......

I'm literally at a loss for words on both accounts.

On Mob Wives: You must understand - I'm from the South. Women are bred to be proper, polite & well spoken. We are taught to be caddy in passive-aggressive manner. We are taught to tan so that it looks natural. I'm not saying we don't have our fair share of fake women around here - but we do our best not make to it so *obvious*. So who are these women with horrendous fake tans, fake boobs & filthy mouths? Where are they from exactly? Do they really exist, or is the drama & make-up all for the cameras? And how do they have so much money? Are their husbands really in jail? I'm utterly perplexed by this lifestyle. And I'm not gonna lie - a tiny piece of me thinks I may have missed my calling somewhere. Just once I would love to get into a fight in the club and pull a hair piece out of some chicks head. Baller......

On Toddlers & Tiaras: This is a culture I can relate to. Umm yes, I was in pageants. Don't believe me? Here's the proof....

I went to charm school. I learned to stand and turn in a complete circle without every lifting my feet from the floor. I had a lady named Mrs. Sylvia who "jacked my hair to Jesus", as they put it. I will say - my mother was never like the women on this show. I enjoyed pageants. And we didn't spend thousands upon thousands of dollars on routines, outfits & travel. It was more like a rite of passage that all little girls from Alabama partook in during their elementary school years. I was amazed at the extremes these mothers will go to for their daughters to win. And some of the girls are such brats. I burst into hysteria when a 3 year-old said, "I'm a beauty queen!" then immediately picked her nose. Now that's good TV.

I'm still feeling like poo this morning - but at least I'm well rested and was thoroughly entertained yesterday. Sometimes watching crazy shows like that makes me feel a little better about my incredibly "normal" life. It may be a bit stressful or boring at times - but at least my husband's not in jail and at least I don't have a 4-year-old telling me to shut-up because I'm ugly!