I Need Sleep!

I’m on my second cup of coffee this morning – and I don’t drink coffee. *Except for those super sweet yummy lattes at Starbucks, but those don’t count because they are calorie free. Right?*

I have blogged before about how difficult it is to get a good night’s sleep when Steven is gone because my dogs go absolutely crazy. Guard Dogs on Crack  Lately, however, they have seemed to become used to him being gone and have calmed down the barking and howling somewhat. Unfortunately, now that they are no longer on guard duty, they have become a little too comfortable in my bed. Generally, Steven and I hook them to their leashes which are tied to our bed so they both sleep on their own dog beds on either side of the bed. When Steven travels, I do not want them chained down in case they need to “unleash the beast” on some crazy burglar trying to get their mommy. They love sleeping in the bed! Dixie in particular since she fully believes she is human and should always have the exact comforts as Steven and me.

Last night was miserable. I tried put down my copy of “The Last Song” (fantastic read for anyone looking for a good book!) around 11 and decided to call it a night. As soon as I turned out the light, Dixie maneuvered her way under the covers and sprawled out across my body pillow on my right side. Yes, my body pillow – the one I was supposed to snuggle up to. Unfortunately for me, Dixie is stronger and more stubborn than I am so she won the fight for my body pillow. On my left side, Bauer insisted on putting his head under my chin. Apparently Dixie was going to sleep on my body pillow and Bauer was going to sleep on me!

After an hour of fighting over the covers and doing my best to push them off me, I dozed off around midnight. My slumber was disturbed as my butt started to get really hot. I woke up to find Dixie lying in between my legs with her head on my butt (I sleep on my stomach.) You know the expression “blowing hot air up your ***”?? Well, I literally lived through that last night. Dixie was breathing fire directly onto my bum and my whole body was sweating as a result. I pushed her off the bed (knowing full well she would hop right back in) and nestled against my body pillow hoping to fall back to sleep. Another 45 minutes passed with no shut eye. I had almost dozed off when Bauer started mini-barking in his sleep and nibbling on my ear. (Okay, I just read that back and it sounds wrong on so many levels but I swear it was a completely appropriate, very cute puppy thing!) As cute as he was, I had had enough. I got my pillows and tried ever so quietly to sneak into the living room to sleep on the couch.

I wasn’t on the couch for more than 5 minutes when I heard her prancing to find me. In my sleepless deliria I could have sworn I heard Dixie chastising, “And just where do you think you’re going? You are my pillow and you will sleep where I tell you to.” Another 5 minutes later Bauer joined us on the couch. So there we were, me and two 70 lb boxers trying to fall asleep on the couch – needless to say it didn’t work out so well.

Around 1:30 I drug myself back to bed, dogs in tow, and did my best to clear my mind. I finally dozed off somewhere around 2:30 or 3. I woke up at 6a.m. this morning laying long ways across the head of my bed. My feet were hanging off the edge and I had NO covers. Dixie and Bauer, however, looked quite rested. I decided to go ahead and get up – I could finish folding my last load of laundry and get something yummy cooking in the crock pot since Steven comes home today.

As I pulled my load of darks from the dryer, I realized I had made a terrible mistake. I washed and dried Steven’s brand new *wool* Brook’s Brothers sweater by accident. I didn’t even know it was in the dirty laundry! As I held the sweater up to my chest and realized it was small enough to fit my 6-year-old brother, I burst into tears. I don’t know if it was my sleep deprivation or my utter disappointment in ruining Steven’s new sweater, but I leaned up against my dryer and bawled for a solid 10 minutes. I guess I’m out of the running for Wife of the Year pretty early in 2010. I told you yesterday – I HATE DOING LAUNDRY!

I need it to be Friday in the worst kind of way – I’m having a week of all Mondays.

On a more positive note, I am approaching the 75 mark for followers.  As I said in my resolutions, once this happens I will create my own blog award.  I've got something really juicy in the works - so if you've been reading lately, but aren't a follower - feel free to join!!