I had a difficult day yesterday.
I got into a pretty large, we'll call it, "disagreement" with a friend yesterday. Out of respect for this friendship, I'm not going to go into details, but let's just say it was the biggest argument I have had with a friend in over years. I spent a great deal of my morning and lunch break resolving this issue and by 2:00 pm I was *completely* spent.
I was very much looking forward to my evening workout. I've learned the channel my anxiety and frustrations in my workouts and use them as a means of therapy. Last night's WOD consisted of double unders & kettle bell swings - I was hoping I would be so physically exhausted by the end of the workout that I wouldn't have the mental capacity to do worry or fret the rest of the evening.
To make a long story short, I hurt my wrist pretty badly two weeks ago doing a move called a "wall climb". (See HERE for an example.) I fell and tweaked my right wrist. Ever since, it will randomly start hurting during a workout.
So of course, last night about half way through my WOD, my wrist started aching. At first it was subtle and I tried to ignore the pain. A few rounds later, my wrist was throbbing with every kettle bell swing. It was impossible to ignore the pain, but I took a quick break and tried to push through it anyway. I did not want to tap out of that WOD. So I took another quick break and grabbed the kettle bell - but it was too much. Each swing felt like my wrist was going to snap under the pressure and I tapped. I quit - didn't finish - gave up. Oh the shame......
I grabbed a bag of ice and stewed in my disapointment and anger while I waited for Steven to finish his WOD. As soon as he was done, I begged him to take me home - icebag in tow.
On the drive home, I felt the frustrations of my day building in my chest. Replaying the disappointment I had felt earlier in the day. Throbbing pain in my wrist. Frustration at tapping out of the WOD. Stupid icebag that was leaking freezing cold water *all over my lap*.
And that's when I had a melt down.
The sobs started quitely at first. I felt my bottom lip begin to quiver and I begged the hysteria to go away. By my efforts were futile and within seconds I was in full on melt down.
Startled to see that I was crying, Steven asked, "Honey what's wrong?? Is it your wrist? Do we need to go to the hospital??"
To which I replied......
I've....(sob) had.....(gasp) a....bad....(full hysteria) DAY!!!!! I fought with my friend. (Tears streaming down my face.) I tapped out of my WOD. (Voice rising) I've broken my stupid wrist. I'm never going to be able to workout again. (Sob - gasp - sob) And that's going to make me sad. (Tears) And then I'll start eating my feelings again. (Snot running down my face.) Which will make me get fat again!!! (Full on panic!) AND this damn ice bag is leaking all over ME!!!!!!!!!
I could tell by the frightened look on Steven's face that he knew we had reached defcon 5. We were quickly approaching a melt down which could rival the scuba incident of 2009. I could see the wheels turning in his mind as he tried to determine the best way to talk me off the ledge. (He later confirmed that he was trying to figure out where the closest fast food restaurant was with a good strawberry milk shake. See even my husband knows I eat my feelings!)
After a minute or two of silence I regained composure. Steven encouraged me that it was okay to tap during my WOD because I was hurt. I need to listen to my body and understand when enough is enough. That doesn't make me weak or less of a CrossFitter - it just means I need a break.
Thank God for a husband who is quick on his feet and can calm a girl down when she's at her worst. :)
And yes, I fully realize that I may have been slightly melodramatic during this melt down - but during the moment all I could envision was myself thirty pounds heavier, with my wrist in a cast and stuffing my face with salt & vinegar chips for the rest of my life!
So I'm taking a rest day today and allowing my wrist (and my soul) a day to recover from our melt down. I will leave you with this video - as proof (mainly to myself) that I'm not a total whimp and that I can push myself and should not be discouraged by one bad WOD or one fight with a friend. Everybody has bad days.....
CrossFit Charlotte: "The Hill, A Team Thing" from Boomer Alred on Vimeo.
This is a video from our WOD last Saturday. It's kind of hard to tell who I am since it's in black and white. Got a ponytail and a gray shirt with black yoga pants. I'm the one with the big grin while running with the sand bag - Lord only knows why!