Sometimes Husbands Don't Make The Best Girlfriends

I convinced Steven to watch the Oscar's with me last night.  We aren't generally big on awards shows around our house, but for some reason I wanted to watch the Oscar's last night.  Thankfully, Steven consented to watch the red carpet show & award show without a fight.

I found myself eagerly chatting away regarding the red carpet event.

"Keith Urban & Nicole Kidman really are the best matched celebrity couple.  They get to go to all the awards ceremonies: CMA's, Grammy's, Golden Globe's, Oscars.  How sweet is that!?!?"

"That is such a girlie dream of mine.  To attend a red carpet event draped in a stunning designer gown and high end jewels.  To have an entourage of people fixing my hair, nails and makeup.  It's on my 'never gonna happen' bucket list."


And that's about the time that Steven interjected, "So am I supposed to be one of your girlfriends tonight?  Pretend that I actually are about 'Who Wore It Best'?  If so - that's cool, just tell me....."

I guess you gotta give the boy credit for trying.  At least he was kind enough to watch the red carpet show and awards ceremony without complaining.  He did comment on how much he loved Reese Witherspoon's hair (hubby's gotta a thing for big hair) and was very annoyed when I informed him that wasn't her real hair. "Why you gotta ruin my dreams", he begged.

So.....since I didn't have a girlfriend handy last night to discuss the best and worst of the Oscar's here are some tidbits I found interesting:

- What was with Anne Hathaway?  I understand that the producers were trying to draw a younger demographic - but she seemed way too flighty to host the Oscar's in my opinion.  She kept fidgeting with her dresses and touching her waste.  And she cat called as every presenter came on the stage.  Cat calling at the Oscar's - really??

- James Franco wasn't much better in my opinion.  I know he's all studly and cool - but he seemed much more like a statue than a sex symbol to me.  Yes, my heart melted on the rare occasion that he actually smiled or laughed - but again, that was rare.

- Since when did Gwyneth Paltrow become an actual country singer?  I know she did a country movie in which she sang - but seriously, she's no Carrie Underwood.  I love GP.  She's a bombshell and I think she's a fabulous actress.  But her performance last night was sub par and she looked like she was in pain while singing.....

- Mila Kunis & Justin Timberlake were my favorite presenters.  I think they pulled off the light hearted, but respectful demeanor The Academy was going for.  She was stunning.

- How painful were the acceptance speeches?  Gotta love Melissa Leo dropping the f bomb. *Classy*


- Am I the only person who didn't know about half of those movies?  I know that's how it usually goes with the Oscars - but seriously, I have only seen The Social Network.

Thanks for letting me share those few tidbits.  Really needed to get that off my chest.  If you watched last night - what were your thoughts???

The One Where I Chased Bauer Down The Street & Terrified The Neighborhood Kids

Thursday morning proved to be another eventful morning at my house.  I'm not even sure where to begin - but I will do my best to explain how I found myself running barefoot through the neighborhood and how I nearly brought a  five year old to tears....

There are a few free roaming cats in our neighborhood.  I'm not a cat person myself, but they seem pleasant enough and have never really given us any trouble - so I've never paid much attention to them.  On a nice day, I will open the front door to let the sun come through the glass door (we've got a wood front door and a glass door on the outside if that makes sense).  It never fails - one of the neighborhood cats will come sit on the front porch staring into the house and utterly terrorizing my dogs.  Eventually Dixie becomes bored with the cat and moves on.  Bauer on the other hand would sit in front of the glass door all day long staring and growling at the cat if I would let him.  They are sworn enemies.

I'm still not exactly sure how this happened - but somehow, the cat got stuck in our garage yesterday morning.  I'm assuming that when Steven left for work, the cat entered the garage without Steven noticing and Steven closed the garage door on his way out trapping the cat in the garage.

I was dressed in business casual and heels and nearly ready to leave for work.  Before putting the dogs away, I remembered I needed to get a few things from my car.  I opened the the door to garage, hit the garage door opener and as light began to flood the garage, I was startled to see a cat sitting at the foot of the garage door as if he were waiting to be let into the house.

Unfortunately, I am not the only one who saw the cat.  Before I could swing the door closed, Bauer hurtled through the doorway and chased the cat out of the garage into the streets. 

I stood there completely perplexed for a split second trying to figure out what in the world had happened when I realized that Bauer was already one cul-de-sac up the neighborhood.  Immediately I sprinted out the garage after Bauer who was in full pursuit of this cat.

About fifty yards into my run it became apparent that my heels were slowing me down, so I jerked them off and threw them into a neighbor's yard.   I continued to run as fast I could, barefoot, down the middle of the street screaming for Bauer to come back. 

I watched as the cat ran up a tall tree and perched on a branch. Bauer did his best to climb that tree, but unfortunately he wasn't quite as stealth as the little kitty.

By the time I was able to reach Bauer, I was blind with rage.  My feet were throbbing from running a half mile barefoot on the asphalt.  My dress pants were ruined.  My head was pounding and my chest was aching from my unexpected morning run.  I*Was*Furious*

It occurred to me while trying to pry Bauer from the tree, that I didn't have his leash with me.  I deduced from his foaming mouth and determined growl that there was no way in hell Bauer was going to calmly follow me back to the house.  He was dead set on getting this cat.

So I did the only thing I could think to do.  I grabbed him by the collar and drug him down the street.  I drug my 75lb, strong-as-as-ox boxer the half mile back to my house by his collar.  And he was not happy about it!

He whined, pulled, growled, and tried to twist himself out of his collar the entire way. He kept trying to turn around and go after the cat again. I peeked over my shoulder and saw that the damn cat was actually following about 20 yards behind us.  Taunting Bauer the whole way home.  No matter what I did, I couldn't get Bauer to focus.

 And finally, I had enough.  I was late to work - I was dripping with sweat - I had broken two nails - and I had this overwhelming urge to burst into tears.  I stopped dead in the middle of the street and did the only thing I knew to do - try to reason with him.  Because everyone can reason with dogs.....right???

Now I can't remember *exactly* what I said to him, but I'm pretty sure it was something along the lines of.....

You stupid mutt!!!  It's just a cat!  A CAT!!!  If you don't cut it out I'm gonna take you to the pound.  Do you know what they do to bad dogs like you at the pound?!?!  They kill them!!  They stab you with a needle - fill you full of poison - and you die!!  Do you want to die?  You better start listening because I swear on all things holy if you don't get in the house right this minute I won't need to take you to the vet - I'll kill you myself!!!!!

And that's when I heard the terrified gasps.  I looked up to see four kids between the ages of five to ten standing on the street corner with a woman who I can only assume was one of their mothers.  The youngest child's bottom lip began to quiver and I'm pretty sure I heard the oldest one ask the mom if, "They really stab dogs and give them poison at the pound...."

My mind went blank.  I sheepishly apologized and muttered something about "just kidding" and "Bauer's a good boy" and "don't you worry".  I gave the mom my best "we've all had one of those days" looks - but she wasn't buying it.

That's about the time I noticed that my high heels were sitting a few feet from this mother who was silently scolding me with her death stare.  I seriously considered just leaving the shoes, but they are my favorites.   I drug Bauer towards the shoes - which only caused the children to panic further.  The crazy lady was coming for them!  Not wanting to scare the kids even more, I tried to keep as much distance from them as possible.  As soon as I was within reach, I stretched my right hand out to grab the shoes while keeping my left hand firm on Bauer's collar.

Once I had my heels in possession, I high tailed it out of there - the crazy, barefoot lady dragging her poor little puppy down the street. 

I'm so grateful we don't have an HOA in our neighborhood, because if so, there is a very good chance we would be receiving an eviction notice within the next week.

Once again - I'm so not ready for kids.........

PS - I would never - ever actually kill or hurt Bauer in any way!  I promise.  I was just having one of those moments where all I could see was red and I thought that threatening him was the way to go.  All you PETA peeps - please don't come banging down my door. I swear I treat my dogs better than I treat my husband!

And I also apologize to any mothers that I may have offended - I'm slightly embarrassed that those poor kids had to learn about what really happens when dogs "go to the farm" from me!

I'm Just Sayin

Good morning fellow bloggers!  I'm so happy that my weekly I'm Just Sayin' posts have been a hit.   Feel free to link up and play along if you just need to get some things off your chest!

To the local country and pop radio stations who insist on playing Taylor Swift's "Back To December" five times an hour - for the love of all things holy STOP IT!!!!  I puffy heart Swifty - I swear I do.  But everytime I turn on the radio, that song is playing.  It's a great song - the first 100 times - but I think we've more than reached the "overplayed" stage.  "Speak Now" has many other awesome songs - it's time to move onto the next single.  I swear if I hear that song one more time I'm going to *lose*my*mind!  It's February and I'm looking forward to spring.  December was two months ago!  I'm Just Sayin'....


To my friends on Facebook who insist on posting their current political or religious views as a status update every single day - stop filling up my news feed with your angry outbursts!  I get that you care about Obama's stance on same sex marriages or whether or not the unions in Wisconsin and Ohio are supported - but your opinion is not the gospel so please don't post it on Facebook as if everyone cares about what you think.  If you want to share your opinions on current events, please feel free to start a blog.  Allow people the ability to read your thoughts if they want to - but don't spring that crap on me without fair warning!  And if you insist on posting your political/religious opinions on Facebook - at least have your facts straight.  You look like a real idiot when your status is filled with opinions based on rumors and slander and not an ounce of truth.  I'm just sayin......


Speaking of Facebook - To all my graduated from college, adult friends who insist on posting in all lowercase letters with no punctuation - you aren't in college anymore!  Welcome to the real world folks!  Seriously - would you send an email to your boss with no capitalization and improper punctuation?  Don't even get me started on the status updates that are filled with text jargon.  It's not "u" - it's "you"!  I can't begin to express how annoying it is to see status updates from my friends who are professors, doctors & lawyers without a single capital letter or period.  Let's have a little respect for the English language here people.  I'm just sayin'...


To the dog owner on the green way who refuses to pick up your dog's poop - you are a disgrace to dog owners everywhere.  You're on a green way filled with children, parents, and other dogs - do you really think it's fair that we have to dodge that stinky pile just because you're too lazy to carry a baggy with you?  I know that accidents happen sometimes and you may have just found yourself unprepared.  But you're a dog owner - you should know better than to come to a public green way without a baggy.  Dogs love to poop on the green way - it's a fact - look it up.  You might want to start cleaning up after your dog - because they next time I watch you let your dog poop on the trail and walk away as if nothing happened, I might just use my baggy to clean up your mess and leave it sitting on the hood of your car - after all, it is your mess.  I'm just sayin......


To the girl scouts and their mothers posted at the front of every grocery store in America - please stop making feel so guilty for not buying your cookies.  I puffy heart the Girl Scouts just like I puffy heart Taylor Swift, but I just can't buy your super yummy cookies.  Trust me, if I could, I would buy four boxes and eat every single cookie right in front of you in under five minutes.  But I'm really trying to watch what I eat these days and buying those cookies would be like an alcoholic buying a handle of vodka - T*R*O*U*B*L*E!  So please, don't judge me and don't give me that disappointed stare.  I promise you will understand one day when you're all grown up.  Summer is around the corner, and although I desire to support your troop, my desire to look fabulous in a bathing suit is greater.  I'm just sayin.....


*I also feel the need to say that by no means do I intend to offend any of my readers. Please take these comments in jest, as they are intended. Just little pet peeves of mine that I choose to poke fun at each week. If you are guilty of the actions I mention, I don't think you are a horrible person and I do not mean to offend. I am *positive* that I am guilty of annoying people on a daily basis and I am sure there are plenty of people who have lots to "Just Say" about me. Again - these posts are truly meant as light hearted rants about my every day annoyances.

I Could Take Him For All He's Worth

Over the past four months, Steven and I have been in the process of changing banks.  And yes, I said four months.  I *hate* changing banks.  We pay so many of our bills through automatic drafts or online payments that changing banks requires me to update about 15 accounts online with the new routing and account information.  What a pain!


To be honest, I was quite lazy with the process.  I decided to keep our old account with Bank of America open until I was 100% certain that all automatic draft & online payment accounts had been updated.  So for four months I managed an account with Bank of America and BBT.  Again - what a pain!

Finally, I had enough and I sat down one afternoon and checked every account to make sure the correct bank information was on file.  I left the BofA account open for another two weeks just to make sure no unexpected activity cleared and when I was satisfied that all was well, I stopped by our local Bank of American to kindly request to close our joint account.

Because of our class/work schedules, it wasn't possible for Steven & I to go to the bank together.  I was fully prepared to sign all the necessary paperwork to close the account and have the bank associate tell me that my husband needed to stop by to sign the closing documentation as well and then we could withdraw the remaining funds from our account and it would be closed.

Imagine my surprise when after signing only one document the bank associate asked me if I would prefer cash or  cashier's check for the funds in our joint checking & joint savings account.

"Cashier's check will be fine.  Wait....my husband doesn't have to authorize the closing of these accounts even though it's a joint account in his name?"  To which the associate responded, "No.  Two signatures are required to open the account - but only one is necessary to close it."

Red flags began to fly all over the place.  This policy makes it incredibly easy for one spouse to completely screw the other.  Imagine how easy it would be for me to go the bank, withdraw all our money, close the accounts and skip town.  I guess in theory you could withdraw all the money from your account without having to close it, but most banks have a limit on the maximum amount of funds that can be withdrawn in any given day - but if you close the account, you can take it all.

Considering that I wasn't planning to screw my husband, but rather immediately deposit the cashier's check into our new joint account at BBT, I accepted the cashier's check with a clear conscience.

But still...how scary is it what someone could get away with?  I guess you really better trust your spouse if you plan to maintain assets together!

And yes, it probably should concern my husband that my immediate thoughts were how easy it would be to take him for all he's worth!  :)

Eat It. Work It. Blog It. - Week 4

Good morning!  First I want to say thank-you so much for all your encouraging words last week regarding my frustrations at my tendency to overeat.  It was comforting to hear that other women have similar struggles but have overcome those issues and to find the encouragement I need to get things under control!  Sorry for my meltdown - I'm better this week - I promise!

Eat It.
Last week I took a hard look at the reasons why I tend to overeat.  As I said last Tuesday, there have been some things going on in my life that have caused anxiety and stress and I have been "eating my feelings" - but I think there are also other reasons that I've been struggling to maintain healthy eating habits: the main of which is poor planning.

Let's face it - eating healthy is not always easy.  If you are pressed for time, it's significantly easier (and usually cheaper) to run through a drive thru than to take the time to prepare a balanced meal.  Or if you haven't had time to run to the grocery store or meal plan, it's also very easy to order take out or pizza during the week.

I have found the lack of time and preparation to be a big hindrance in my success over the past few weeks.  I'm  working full time and taking graduate classes.  My gym is twenty-five minutes from my house and I go there five times a week.  I spend a great deal of time away from home.  So when I get home, the last thing I want to do is spend time in the kitchen cooking up some healthy meal.

So I have been thinking through the best way to meal plan, save time and eat healthy meals that are actually tasty (because who wants to eat bland chicken all the time!?!?)  I've got a few things that I'm trying this week and I'm looking forward to reporting back next Tuesday with any good tips I might have found!

Work It.
Another great week at CrossFit Charlotte.  My goal is to get five WOD's in each week.  I wasn't able to make it to the box Sunday or Monday - which means I went Tuesday-Saturday without a break.  Boy was I tired Saturday evening!  Plus I met a girlfriend Saturday afternoon for a four mile power walk on the green way.

Saturday morning's WOD was my by far my favorite.  We were split into teams and did body weight prowler pushes.  One person rode the prowler while your teammates pushes you 200 yards!  And of course Coach threw in some box jumps, kettle bell swings & medicine ball slams for extra fun!  :)

Love kettle bell swings!

Don't make fun of the face - the metal prowler on the concrete did not feel so great on my bumm!

Blog It.

I experienced a wonderful weight loss moment recently!

One of my closest friends is getting married in May and she has asked me to be a bride's maid.  I love the dress she has chosen for her bride's maids, but unfortunately we aren't able to try it on - we had to order it online.  I was really nervous.  Another bride's maid had ordered and received her dress and she told me the dresses were "true to size".  Which posed a problem.  I was almost positive I was between size XX and size X.  I was confident that by the wedding I would be able to fit into size X - but I was afraid that I wouldn't fit into size X today.  And what if I didn't lose the extra weight that I needed to lose?  But what if I ordered size XX and I lost the weight - the dress would be HUGE and I would have to spend a fortune having it altered.

So I contemplated which size to order for a few days and finally ordered the smaller of the two - size X.  I nervously waited for the dress to arrive so I could see exactly how much weight I would need to lose between now and May to fit into this dress.  When the dress arrived, I slipped into the dress and cautiously asked Steven to try and zip it up as far as he could.  

Imagine my surprise when it easily zipped all the way up!  I wanted to a do a little dance in my kitchen!!  I kept asking, "It zipped!?!?  It zipped!?!?!" To which my husband's bewildered response came, "Umm....isn't it supposed to zip??"  There are some things men will never understand.....

The dress fits perfectly.  I will definitely have to have the smaller size taken in when the wedding rolls around because I am *determined* to drop these last fifteen pounds between now and then!

I hope you all are having a great week and finding successes of your own in your journey to a healthy lifestyle!

Miscellany Monday

{one}  I had another test this morning.  It was for my advanced auditing class.  I woke up at 6am to study for the test.  Pretty sure I didn't do so well.  Who schedules a test for Monday morning at 9am on President's Day? I had class today and work!  Yuck.

{two} On the bright side - my professor kind of felt bad for scheduling the test on President's Day and he brought breakfast for the class.  Pineapple, cantaloupe and bagels from Panera Bread.  Yummy!

{three}  Friday with the hubby proved to be just what the doctor ordered!  I really wish we were independently wealthy and could retire at 26.  It would be so nice to spend my days doing whatever I wanted with Steven.  Working for a living can be brutal sometimes!

{four} After my WOD Saturday morning, I met a girlfriend for a walk on the green way.  The temperature was in the low 70's and the sun was shining all morning.  We walked four miles then sat outside Starbuck's for over two hours catching up.  It was glorious.  Sunshine + one of my favorite girlfriends = food for my soul!

{five} The only downfall to my Saturday morning activities is that I have a really bad sunburn on my nose, cheeks & chest.  I didn't realize how much sun I was getting or I would have moved to the shade!  Who would have thought you could get sun burnt in February??  It's so painful!

{six} I really hope these warm temperatures are here to stay.  I could definitely get used to riding with the windows down and I'm loving this new found energy and positivity I've felt over the past few days!

My First Rude Comment

Happy Friday!  Be very jealous - because it's in the high 60's here today and hubby and I took the day off.  Just needed a personal day to get a few things done - one of which will be treating ourselves to Cheesecake Factory for lunch.  Like I said - be jealous.  :)

So I had a blogger life changing moment yesterday: I received my first rude anonymous comment.  No surprise it was in response to last week's I'm Just Sayin post. 

"Just a little self absorbed??!!  I'm just sayin..."

And I find myself in a dilemma.  Respond or don't respond.  Ignore or don't ignore. 

The thing is, I have absolutely zero problems with a reader voicing their opinion regarding my posts - even if it isn't necessarily lovey dovey.  But please, if you're going to leave a comment, especially a rude comment, have the courtesy to sign your name to it!  It's so cowardly. 

And if this particular reader had left their name, I would have made an effort to let them know that I agree with them on some level.  Yes, I'm a little self absorbed.  I'm a blogger.  I write four to five posts each week filled with my thoughts on any given topic of my choosing. 

It's kind of all about me here: my life, my likes, my dislikes, my hobbies, my every day activities.  *Me* *Me* *Me*

I'm certainly not under the impression that I am better than anyone else. And by no means are my life or my writing grand enough to entertain the masses.  Just a girl - blogging because I like it.

And if posting my snotty thoughts regarding the rude/inappropriate/obnoxious people I come into contact with on a weekly basis is an outlet that allows me to refrain from actually telling those rude/inappropriate people what I think every time someone gets on my nerves - then I'd say that's a pretty fair trade.  Some people use this tool called sarcasm - it doesn't make them evil - just sarcastic.

Oh and if you don't like reading my self absorbed thoughts, don't come by my blog.  I'm just sayin.....

That's all on this topic!  Here's hoping you all have a speedy work day and a fabulous weekend! 

And yes - I'm fully aware that this response may have been somewhat dramatic or childish - but again, it's my blog and I reserve the right to act like I'm in high school if I prefer.  Promise to be an adult come Monday!  :)

I'm Just Sayin......

Good morning lovely bloggers!  Feel free to link up below for this week's "I'm Just Sayin" post.  Express yourself!  :)

To the server in the Wendy's drive thru who gave me two packets of ketchup when I ordered four medium french fries and asked for "extra ketchup" - REALLY!?!?!?!  How in the world am I supposed to go back to my office and tell my bosses (who these fries are for) that I only have two packets of ketchup?  Should I throw the two packets down in the middle of the kitchen and scream, "Let's Do This" and watch as full grown men fight it out Mike Vick style for ketchup?  I know it's a tough economy - but if you're so hard up that you can't give a girl at least two packet of ketchup per fry, I'm gonna take my business elsewhere.  McDonald's is right down the street and their $1 hot fudge sundaes are way better than Wendy's $1 frosty.  I'm just sayin........

To the girl who cheats during every CrossFit workout - you're not fooling anyone!  When Coach says, "20 dead lifts" he means 20 dead lifts - not 15, not 17, not 18 - 20.  Explain to me how I do every rep faster than you - but you always beat me by a minute?  It's kind of obvious when we are standing side by side that I'm kicking your butt (and using heavier weight than you - I might add).  Yet it never fails - you finish first.  Puzzling.....  There's a reason I am doing a 75 lb clean while you do a 45 lb clean - it's because I do the workouts as written.  Maybe if you didn't cheat yourself every day you would see more improvement as well. I'm just saying.....

To my wonderful husband - I fell in the toilet bowl again last night!  We've gone over this - put the toilet seat *down*.  Do you have any idea how irritating it is to get a burst of water up your bum at 3 in the morning?  No??  Well you might want to think about it because the next time I find myself pulling my butt from the death grip of our toilet in the middle of the night you're gonna find out how unpleasant toilet water can be.  We'll see how much you like it when I use your pillow case to dry my wet booty.  I'm just sayin.....

To the wanna be liberal college freshman on your cell phone screaming about how you "have no idea why anyone would sign up to be in the army and go off to war.  Stupid cowboys with a death wish...."  - you've got to be kidding me!  Did you miss the guy across the hall in his ROTC gear waiting for class?  Do you think he appreciates being called a "stupid cowboy" by a girl wearing her pajamas to class with last night's mascara smeared under her eyes?  You haven't even considered how your conversation may seem offensive to those around you.  Why?  Because you have never had your freedom of speech questioned!  You've grown up in a country where you can say anything about religion, politics, or any other ideology that you want without caring how offensive it may sound.  Do you know why?  Because you were blessed to be born an AMERICAN!  Do you think our Founding Fathers wandered over here because they were looking for better land for crops?  NO!!  They were tired of religious persecution!  And they fought a war to gain their freedom from the British.  And service men and women have been fighting every day since then to protect those freedoms - freedoms that allow you to stand here and call them "stupid cowboys".  Get off your phone and go to class you ungrateful little brat before I exercise my right to smack you around for being an idiot.  I'm just sayin....

Eat It. Work It. Blog It. - Week 3

Sorry to anyone who had difficulty using the link last week - I think there were some issues, but not 100% sure what went wrong.  I will try to make sure everything works properly this week!

Eat It.
I had a revelation last night.  Well, not technically a revelation - because this is not new news - but a realization that I'm falling into old habits again.  I.Eat.My.Feelings.  In times of extreme stress, sadness or anxiety - I eat and I eat a lot.  That's why my weight fluctuates so often.  I will put on 20 lbs during a "difficult time" and work like mad to drop the weight - only to put it back on when life's next storm rolls around.  Pretty sad, huh?

Well, in November I learned some pretty crazy news.  Life news - turn.my.world.upside down life news. Ever since, I've been slowly eating my feelings.  It started small, I would allow myself to have one bite of ice cream after dinner even if it wasn't my cheat day.  Then the holidays hit and I told myself it was "just the holidays" and I would jump back on the wagon at the first of the year.  January came and went and somehow instead of only taking one cheat day per week, I averaged two or three.

So I decided to create this Eat It. Work It. Blog It. as a means of holding myself accountable - I *swore* to get my eating habits back under control and only take one cheat day per week - but I haven't kept that promise. And I need to be honest about it.

Last night I was expressing my frustration to Steven that I haven't lost any weight since December - not a single pound.  Thankfully, I haven't gained a single pound either, but it's very frustrating to have reached this plateau.  He was strangely quite as I pondered why my weight loss has come to a halt: my body has adjusted, I'm not working out as hard as before, maybe my new birth control??  He said nothing - as if he were waiting for me to realize what he's been seeing for months.....

OMG!!  I'm eating my feelings again aren't I!?!?!  To which he quietly replied, "Yeah sweetie - you are. I wish I knew how to help you through this - but yes, you are."  And I cried myself to sleep.....

Work It.
The *only* reason I haven't gained weight during this period of overeating is because of my intense workout routine at CrossFit Charlotte.  Last week I really stepped up my game and I was incredibly pleased with the results of my workout.  I hit the gym for five WODS (Workout of The Day) and one strength class.  Tuesday evening during our strength bias, I did a 1 rep max back squat of 145lbs.  That's a 15 lb increase from my last back squat max!

I wasn't feeling well Thursday-Sunday, but I still drug myself to the box Thursday, Friday & Saturday.  Admittedly, I went a little easier than normal, but I was proud that I committed to going and didn't allow feeling under the weather to be an excuse to miss my workouts.  If only I could commit so much dedication to my eating habits.....

Blog It.
I feel like I'm facing this intense crossroads this week.  I feel like an addict of some sort - I've acknowledged my problem.  And I know that some of you may think I'm being dramatic - especially if you aren't the kind of person who struggles with weight issues or overeating, but I am not writing this post for dramatic effect.

There are issues that need to be dealt with.  Issues that a candy bar in the afternoon "just because I'm feeling down" cannot help.  Issues that won't go away just because I keep promising to "get on the wagon tomorrow".  I know that if I do not deal with these issues, I will quickly find myself starting at my teary eyed reflection that's 20 lbs heavier asking, "How the hell did you do this to yourself - again!?!"

But to be honest, sometimes eating my feelings is much easier than dealing with them and I think that's why overeating is my vice.  But the food no longer makes me feel better - it only makes me feel worse.  I have worked too hard to take my life back.  I've worked too hard to feel good in my own skin.  I refuse to stay on this road of self destruction simply because I do not want to deal with life.

So if you pray, please pray for me this week.  I'm struggling.  I hate to admit it.  I hate to admit that life isn't as peppy and perfect as it appears on my blog -but it isn't and it hasn't been for a little while now. But I have an unbelievable husband who supports me and believes in me to help get me through this.  I have friends who go out of their way to make sure that I know I am loved and cared for.  I am so blessed - so unbelievably blessed.  I can deal with this - without the food.  And that's exactly what I'm going to do.

Friday Confessional

I confess that I bit my nails off last weekend.  I told you I was going to do it - and I did.  Oh well, they will be back in a week or so.  

I confess that I cannot keep cash or change in my purse or desk in my office.  Why you may ask?  Because if I have a dollar or loose change, I will sneak away to the vending machine in the afternoon and buy a candy bar.  And no - I can't stop myself from doing it.  So my only solution to this problem is simply not to keep small bills or loose change.  And I have told my coworkers that under no circumstances, no matter how badly I beg, are they to ever give me $.75!

I confess that a month from today I will turn 26!  I was not so thrilled about turning 25 last year so I am determined to age gracefully and welcome 26 with a smile on my face.  I have a feeling that this year will be much better than the last and I need to embrace my midtwenties!

I confess that I have a test on Monday morning that I am no where near prepared for.  Want to guess what I will be doing this weekend????  Studying!

I confess that I will be hosting a weekly "I'm Just Sayin" spot on my blog each Thursday.  So many of you seemed to enjoy my sassy musings yesterday and have requested a weekly feature so you can share your sassy rants as well.  So stop by next Thursday and say what you need to say!

I confess that I'm super happy it's Friday!  :)

I'm Just Sayin'

To the soccer mom driving the *huge* Suburban yelling at your kids while talking on your cell phone - you're gonna kill someone!!!  Get off the phone, put two hands on the wheel and focus on the road because I swear if you run me off the road one more time you're kids are gonna see their mom get a butt whoopin!  PS - if you can't drive that big tank - don't let your hubby buy it for you!  I'm just sayin......

To the creepy old guy at the gas station who insists on staring at me while I pump my gas - take a picture, it will last longer!!!  I know these yoga pants make my butt look fabulous because my HUSBAND tells me so every time I wear them.  That's right - husband!  Maybe if you moved your eyes a little further north you would notice the huge *rock* on my left hand.  And if you went even further north the disgusted look on my face would tell you that you don't stand a chance.  I'm just saying.....

To the super skinny girl eating a cheeseburger & drinking a double fudge chocolate shake while talking about how you can eat anything you want and never workout but stay so skinny - "you're just blessed to be healthy that way" - you're not healthy!!!  You're skinny because you've got a high metabolism, but you're still clogging your arteries with saturated fats and throwing your blood sugar levels into a tailspin with all that processed sugar.  I may have thirty pounds on you - but I promise you I'm the more healthy individual.  Come to my CrossFit box and I'll show you what fit looks like.  I'm just sayin.....

To my frenemies from college who talk bad about me because "I've changed" - damn right I've changed!  College was FOUR years ago!  Do you expect me to apologize for getting married, buying a house and making a healthy transition into adult life?  Do you expect me to go bar hopping Wednesday - Saturday just so we can remain BFF's?  The truth is, we have nothing in common and that's why we are no longer close.  For example: I crawl into bed with the same man every night - a man who loves me and who would do anything for me.  You crawl into bed with whatever guy bought you the most drinks that night.  I'm just sayin.....

PS. Thanks for all the well wishes yesterday.  I'm feeling better today!  Just one of those days!

Sometimes.....

Sometimes you're the window.....sometimes you're the bug.

Today.....I'm the bug.

:(

Eat It. Work It. Blog It. - Week 2

It's time for this week's installment of Eat It. Work It. Blog It.  Thank-you so much to all the readers who left encouraging comments last week and to those who have decided to join this weekly post in hopes of finding the encouragement and inspiration to tackle your personal weight loss and fitness goals.  If you missed last week - feel free to check it out HERE and join along if you would like.

Eat It.
I'll be honest - I cheated two days this week instead of just one.  I was *very* good Tuesday - Friday and yesterday; however, Saturday and Sunday I definitely went overboard.  Steven and I kept my little brother this weekend and we took him to Chick-fila and a movie.  And Sunday was Superbowl Sunday.  So I may have over indulged in some candy during the movies and had a little too much chips and dip this weekend.  But like I said, my diet was very clean the rest of the week:  protien shakes for breakfast each morning, 4 ounces of chicken or tuna for lunch with fruit, and a balanced dinner each night.

One of the biggest challenges to following Clean Zone is eliminating bread/rice/pasta from my diet.  Do you know how difficult it is to make a casserole without bread/rice/pasta??? 

I have had to adapt many of my favorite recipes in order to eat clean throughout the week.  Steven and I love Mexican food.  Before we began eating Zone, we would eat tacos or fajitas and some sort of Mexican casserole every week. 

In order to indulge our love of Mexican food - we make steak fajitas without the tortilla.  Steak, carmalized onions & green peppers, black beans, full fat sour cream, cheese & salsa.  The steak and cheese provide ample protein and the black beans provide healthy carbohydrates.  The balance of protein, carbs & healthy fats keep insulin & glucagon levels balanced and provide optimum energy and weight loss for the body.  It's an easy meal to prepare and incredibly satisfying!

Work It.
One of the most difficult lessons I have learned in the five months that I have been doing CrossFit is that sometimes you just have a bad week.  Sometimes your body cannot perform at optimum levels required by CrossFit WODS and sometimes you just have to do what you can.

I had one of those weeks last week. I fell during my workout Tuesday morning.  We were doing an exercise called "Wall Climbs" - essentially you lay on the ground in pushup position with your feet up against a wall.  Push yourself into plank position and begin to walk your feet up the wall - as your feet move up the wall, walk your hands back towards the wall so that you eventually end up in a hand stand up against the wall with your thighs and chest touching the wall.  Not easy folks!  Oh and we were doing burpees & toes-to-bar as well.

After about my tenth wall climb my shoulders gave out and I fell....more like I crashed to the my death.  My knee was skinned up, I bit my tongue and smashed my head onto the concrete.  I was in a good deal of pain - but I finished the workout.

And I just wasn't the same for the rest of the week.  Thursdays workout was super tough - as I said during my Friday Confessionals.  And I skipped my workout Friday because my legs were just too tired.  Saturday & Monday's workouts were actually great and I finally feel like I'm getting my mojo back - here's hoping I can really kick it into high gear this week and shed some calories!

Blog It.
I haven't stepped on the scale this week.  It's ummm...that time of the month....and I think any woman who steps on a scale during that time of the month is just a glutton for punishment.  So I'm not sure if I'm up or down.  To be honest, I don't feel like I killed it this week.  I definitely don't feel like I blew it - but I think I could have fought a little harder to say no to the yummy treats Sunday evening & I could have worked a little harder in my workouts. 

I think that's a part of creating a healthy lifestyle though.  I'm not doing this as a diet.  I'm not doing CrossFit for six months only to try and lose weight as quickly as possible.  I am making a lifestyle change.  And no one is on their game all of the time.  So I had an off week - not horrible - but not the best.  And I'm surprisingly okay with that.  I'm grateful that my body is feeling better this week and I'm looking forward to pushing myself and seeing what I have to report next Tuesday!

**On the bright side I am wearing a pair of jeans today that I haven't been able to wear in quite some time.  :)

Friday Confessional

I have a lot to confess this week - so *no* judging!

I confess that I am so happy to be blogging "full time" again.  I feel like I'm back to the old me.  It's as if the fact that I have the time to blog regularly signals that I've finally gotten this crazy schedule under control and that makes me oh.so.happy!

I confess that I've got baby fever.  Yes, I want a baby.  Yes, I have a loving husband who will be an excellent father (honestly - he'll be a significantly better parent than me.)  Yes, we have supportive parents who cannot wait to be grandparents.  Yes I'm turning 26 in a month and hear my internal clock ticking.  But it's not the right time.  Oh how I wish it were. But it's not the right time.  I need to complete grad school and get my CPA cert - that's a two year process.  There are still things we want to do together before we commit to raising a child.  It's like my heart wants one thing and my brain knows it's not right.  I feel like for the first time in our lives Steven and I are making the responsible, well thought decision.  So we're sticking to it - my graduation present will hopefully be a baby.  Here's hoping these next two years fly by!

I confess that I bite my nails.  It's disgusting - but let me explain.  My nails look like this naturally.

I can bite my nails off down to the quick and in a matter of two weeks they will look like the above.  No special lotions, no meticulous regimen, no special nail polish - just super hard and long.  And I'm lazy.  Once they get to a certain length I need to trim them back because they interfere with my typing & workouts.  So I usually find myself mindlessly biting them off during a fit of anxiety.  I get stressed and realize that I need to take the time to sit down to clip & file my nails and the next thing I know - they are gone.  I have a feeling that moment is coming pretty soon.....

I confess that I'm a control freak.  Okay - so that's nothing new - but my controlling nature has hit an all time high.  Steven and I are keeping my little brother this weekend.  As a result, I'm probably not going to have time to do our biweekly grocery shopping (unless I take Ethan with me - which seems like a nightmare waiting to happen.)  Steven volunteered to do the grocery shopping for me.  Most wives would be thrilled - not me.  As soon as the suggestion escaped his mouth, my palms started to sweat and my heart began to race.  We are on a strict budget and I have an exact amount allotted every two weeks for groceries.  I have my grocery shopping down to an art form and I rarely go over budget.  Steven likes name brands - he swears by name brands.  I have this irrational fear that he's going to go shopping and come home having spent $100 more than allotted.  Apparently all these accusations were written all over my face because before I could even begin to object Steven said, "Amber - I'm a grown man. I can do the grocery shopping.  Just give me a list and I'll do it."  I could tell by his voice it was not up for discussion.

So I've made my list.  Umm...it may have the particular brand that I want him to buy - not just "mayo" but "Duke's Mayo" - not just "shredded cheese" but "Great Value shredded cheese".  And for items that I'm not exactly sure of the brand, I wrote a price beside them so he knows the range to stay within.  And at the top of the list in BIG BOLD letters I wrote the amount that he is allowed to spend.  He's gonna crap a brick when he sees this list.

But this is me trying to let go......

I confess that I skipped my 6am WOD (workout) this morning.  Again - allow me to explain.  Last night's workout was brutal.  A 20 minute AMRAP (As Many Reps As Possible) of 10 Push Presses, 10 Kettle bell Swings & 10 Box Jumps.  I did 10 rounds plus 12 reps - that's 110 push presses, 102 kettle bell swings & 100 box jump in twenty minutes.  And that was after a ten minute warm-up that consisted of 60 double unders (jump rope), 60 lunges, 10 push presses, 10 kettle bell swings & 10 box jumps.  And that was after my prewarm-up warm-up of 5 minutes on the jump rope & 300 sit ups!

By the time I got home last night - I could literally barely walk.  My calves have *never* burned like this before.  And when the alarm clock went off at 5am this morning (which was only 9 1/2 hours after my workout last night) I knew my legs couldn't take anymore.  Even though I know my body, in particular my legs, need a rest day today - I'm still pretty pissed at myself for skipping this morning's WOD.  I'm going to have to make this up on Sunday!


I confess that I'm happy it's Friday!!!

Hope you all have had a wonderful week and have an even better weekend!

Passion or Companionship?

My girlfriends and I try to get together at least once a month for a "girl's night" - generally this consists of lots of Italian food, lots of wine and lots of gossip.  During January's girls' night we played a pretty interesting game.  I can't remember the name, but basically there were about 100 cards with very personal questions and each player chose a card and got to ask the personal question to another player of their choice.

Most of the questions were pretty juicy and of course it was hysterical to hear the answers.  (Don't worry friends - I promise not to spill your secrets for the entire Blog world to see!)  But one question has been nagging me the past few days....

If you had to chose between passion and companionship which would you chose and why?

All three of my friends chose passion.  For obvious reasons - it's important to feel a spark for the man you love, you can be friends with anyone - but not lovers, women need to feel that connection and desire, etc.

Of course, I was the only one out of the four who felt companionship was more important than passion.  Which threw my mind into a tailspin on the way home that evening:  Was it because I've been married for almost three years and have moved out of the "honeymoon phase"?  Is it because I've been with Steven for 8 years?  Is there something wrong with me for valuing companionship over passion?  Have I let the fires of my marriage burn out??

Since that evening a single friend and I have been discussing the woes of her love life.  She's an attractive, successful, intelligent woman who has so much to offer in a relationship - but she just can't seem to find the right guy to commit to.  Over the course of our conversations she's expressed concerns of her own: Are her expectations too high?  Should she just give up on "Mr. Perfect" and settle?  What if it's not the men she's been dating but it's her - what if she's just BSC!?!?! 

So again - I've been faced with this choice of companionship vs. passion.  And I found myself telling me dear friend these words of advice:

I think too many women look at love as this wild, romantic fairy tale where some sexy man comes into the picture with sweat dripping down his chiseled abs.  He literally sweeps her off her feet and carries her into his love den where their passion for one another is eternal and they survive off steamy sex and endless conversations about their undying love for one another.

As someone who has been married for a while - I can tell you, steamy sex and endless conversations about undying love does not pay the bills, does not put food in pantry and does not do the laundry!  Passion doesn't nurse you back to health when you've got the flu and cannot get out of bed.  Passion doesn't surprise you by cleaning the dishes just because he knows you've had a long day and could use a break from housework.  Passion doesn't volunteer to babysit an 8 week old puppy for 3 weeks so that Santa can bring your little brother a puppy for Christmas.  Passion doesn't buy you tampons when you've completely run out and don't have time to go to the store.  Passion doesn't seek to make amends when there is conflict.  Passion doesn't stand by your side and cheer you on when you think you can't carry on.  Passion doesn't fight like hell to make a marriage work. 

But companionship does.

Think about all the things that you would do for your friends.  I'm not talking about your frenemies - those people who you pretend to adore but really would love to throw into oncoming traffic if the opportunity ever presented itself.  I'm talking about your real friends. 

Think about how you feel their pain when they are sad.  How you look for ways to brighten their day when you know they have had a tough time.  How you laugh together and cry together.  How you would stand toe-to-toe with the meanest bully in the world to defend your friends. 

Now think about that friendship amplified in your marriage or relationship.  Think about how much stronger your friendship with your partner will be because you have committed to love them above all others.  They are your person - the one person who is completely yours - devoted to you and you alone. 

I'm not trying to discount the importance of passion.  Attraction to your partner is a vital part of a relationship - but a relationship cannot survive on attraction and passion.  I do feel attraction to Steven and "that spark" - but I know that there may be times in our marriage when that passion is not as strong as I would like.  Passion is a feeling - it can come and go depending on a person's mood, depending on their current circumstances and abilities.  Companionship is a relationship - no matter how I feel about Steven in any given moment - I *always* know that he is my best friend.  He's my person - my God given person. 

He's the man I want to sit on the front porch with when I'm ninety.  We'll hold hands and drink sweet tea and talk about all the memories we've shared together.  I would rather talk about all the experiences we shared as friends rather than moments of passion: How we grew up together. We survived our twenties and finally figured out "what we wanted to do when we grew up."  Talk about the struggles and joys of raising our children.  Talk about how wonderful our grandchildren are and how being a grandparent is way better than being a parent.  I'm not so sure that those night's spent on bearskin rugs in front of the fire eating whip cream off each other will be so important to me when I'm ninety - but I'm sure that every moment shared with my best friend building our life together will be.

But maybe I'm just crazy and I'm the only woman in America who would chose companionship over passion.....

**PS - it's completely okay to disagree with me.  All of my friends do!  Maybe there are some insights I'm just missing.  You won't hurt my feelings!