Thursday, February 10, 2011

I'm Just Sayin'


To the soccer mom driving the *huge* Suburban yelling at your kids while talking on your cell phone - you're gonna kill someone!!!  Get off the phone, put two hands on the wheel and focus on the road because I swear if you run me off the road one more time you're kids are gonna see their mom get a butt whoopin!  PS - if you can't drive that big tank - don't let your hubby buy it for you!  I'm just sayin......

To the creepy old guy at the gas station who insists on staring at me while I pump my gas - take a picture, it will last longer!!!  I know these yoga pants make my butt look fabulous because my HUSBAND tells me so every time I wear them.  That's right - husband!  Maybe if you moved your eyes a little further north you would notice the huge *rock* on my left hand.  And if you went even further north the disgusted look on my face would tell you that you don't stand a chance.  I'm just saying.....

To the super skinny girl eating a cheeseburger & drinking a double fudge chocolate shake while talking about how you can eat anything you want and never workout but stay so skinny - "you're just blessed to be healthy that way" - you're not healthy!!!  You're skinny because you've got a high metabolism, but you're still clogging your arteries with saturated fats and throwing your blood sugar levels into a tailspin with all that processed sugar.  I may have thirty pounds on you - but I promise you I'm the more healthy individual.  Come to my CrossFit box and I'll show you what fit looks like.  I'm just sayin.....

To my frenemies from college who talk bad about me because "I've changed" - damn right I've changedCollege was FOUR years ago!  Do you expect me to apologize for getting married, buying a house and making a healthy transition into adult life?  Do you expect me to go bar hopping Wednesday - Saturday just so we can remain BFF's?  The truth is, we have nothing in common and that's why we are no longer close.  For example: I crawl into bed with the same man every night - a man who loves me and who would do anything for me.  You crawl into bed with whatever guy bought you the most drinks that night.  I'm just sayin.....

PS. Thanks for all the well wishes yesterday.  I'm feeling better today!  Just one of those days!

35 comments:

Jennifer said...

Love this!

An Inquiring Mind said...

This is such an AWESOME post!!! LOVE it! :)

Aly @ Analyze This said...

Oh those damn soccer Mom's!!!

And the skinny bitches that eat whatever ... I hope it catches up to them ... I'm just sayin' ;)

Miss Southern Vol said...

Ahhh Love this! This needs to be a weekly hook up!!

Dani said...

GREAT post!

Ashley said...

haha -- this post had me crackin' up =)

Rebekah said...

Haha girl, I love this!

Miss Chelsea said...

hahah A big ol AMEN SISTER to the last one... I'm right there with you!

Christina said...

You tell it girlie! I'm with you!

Ashley said...

Love them all! Great post.

Damn those skinny bitches, absolutely am not a fan.

Bryan & Chelsey said...

haha..posts like these are exactly why I love you! I'm just sayin...;)

Neely said...

I feel ya on people thinking we've changed since college ummm yeah I dont drink all night anymore sorry Im almost 27!

melissa said...

I'm a new follower - love this! Love your blog :)

Rissy said...

OH. SNAP! that was to the last comment for sure.

I love you more and more with every post... just sayin'.

I say "just sayin'" all the time so don't be surprised if you see this on my blog tomorrow... cause I am ridiculously sassy as well..

I used to tell my best friend in middle school I was worried about her health because all that fat had to be going somewhere and I was worried for her heart. Yes, i was a BRAT. She was just so gullible... did I mention she is still my absolute best friend?!

Kelly Marie said...

You tell 'em girl! I love all of these they crack me up :) Hope you're having a great day!

PinkLouLou said...

GET IT! That last one made my crack up, and blush at the same time. too funny. xoxo

The Mrs. said...

BAHHHHAHAHAHAHAH! I love this post!

Bursting at the Seam said...

Girl! You need to set this up so we can link to it & "Just say" some things!

You crack me up! ♥♥

Lindsay said...

LOVE that last one! I can relate!

everyone calls me bon bon said...

You go girl! Tell it like it is! Love love this. So true, all of it. Sometimes people just don't have common sense! Goodness gracious. xoxo

Meg O. said...

Preach it, sistah!!!! I love this!

MJ said...

Love this post!! I'm with you on that last one...people change, deal with it!

Kiley said...

Loved it! Especially the last one, some people I know are complaining because I'm "not fun" anymore. Well, I am but my idea of fun is now a good night's rest and an ass-kicking wod to start each morning that's all!

Whitney said...

Omg... I can totally agree with the one about guys hitting on you but not caring to see the ring on your finger. I hate when guys hit on me. It's annoying. I'm not interested. It's like they don't see a ring on my hand or don't even care

Ms. J said...

haha love it!!

*BECCA* said...

Hahahaha!!! Ohhh I loved this post. You were on it today, girl! Must have been all that positive thinking! LOL &It's awesome when someone can put things into words that others have been dying to get out there. For me, especially the old gawking pervert & the jealous, immature "friends".
WELL PLAYED. =)

Bonnie said...

can you make this a weekly linky???? holy crap "just sayin'" is a brilliant idea!

Mateya said...

You're awesome. Just Saying... :)

This was so funny!

Especially the skinny bitches...ugh!

And frenemies..boo!

Tickled Pink said...

This was hilarious!

Totally agree with the post-college changes. I went through some of that too!

The Granberrys said...

Hilarious. I feel like I could have wrote that exact same post!

Leah said...

You are too funny! Loving this!

d.a.r. said...

I am definitely that skinny unhealthy girl, whoops!!!

And I agree. It's hard to stay friends with people who refuse to grow up. We are in our mid-late twenties at this point. I am married and have a family and a career. Mid-week barhopping and picking up men whose names I don't even know sounds about as unappealing as a bikini wax. Okay, scratch that. I'd rather have the bikini wax, haha!

Stacey said...

I just hate that I can't have this on my blog...won't go we coming from the preacher's wife...

Anonymous said...

Just a little self absorbed??!! I'm just saying...

Tori and Chad said...

Amen to the college frenemies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I went home the other week for a funeral and I didn't even want to see any of my party era friends. I'm not boring, I'm 27 these days!)



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