Thursday, July 29, 2010

I CANNOT Believe I Let That Happen!

I want to start this post by saying, yes, I am incredibly ashamed of my actions this morning. I truly cannot believe that I allowed this to happen – but it caught me completely by surprise and I was obviously unprepared. What you are about to read will prove that I am the worst pet owner *ever* and the most inconsiderate runner *ever*. But in the spirit of transparency and “real life” blogging….I’m going to tell you anyway. This may be a little long – but I promise it’s totally worth taking the time to read. Please forgive me, but this is what happened…..

I have decided to run another half marathon in November. As a result, Dixie (my female boxer) and I have been going on morning runs for the past three weeks. I do hate getting out of bed each morning, but once my shoes are laced up and Dixie’s leash is attached, we hit the road hard and both love it. There is something incredibly peaceful and energizing about an early morning run with such a pretty pooch.


This morning I decided to spice things up and we ventured into a new neighborhood. The Oaks is an incredibly hilly neighborhood and I thought it might be good training to do some hill work. About half way into our run Dixie started acting funny. She kept trying to veer off the sidewalk and into the grass of homeowners’ front yards. A quick jerk and her chain and a sharp, “Heel Dixie” and she snapped to attention and came back to the sidewalk. But still…it was annoying.

Thinking that perhaps she had to tinkle I led her an undeveloped lot paused my Nike+ to allow her a moment to relieve herself. She sniffed around for a few minutes and laid down. Realizing that she was just being a brat and probably didn’t like the extra work the hills required, I jerked her up and we resumed our run.

But still, she kept swerving into the front yard every time we passed a house.

*This is where I need to explain something. Dixie never poops on a run. *EVER* I let her outside while I put on my running gear each morning so she has plenty of time to take care of her business before we ever leave the house. She’s all business when we are running. As a result, I don’t carry plastic bags with me in the morning. We usually run 3-4 miles and she never poops. So why would I carry any unnecessary extras??

Okay, so back to the story.

After dragging our butts up an unusually steep hill, we picked up our pace for the down hill. I was nearly sprinting and it felt amazing. Amazing that is, until Dixie came to a complete stop and almost jerked my shoulder out of socket. Mad as hell Only slightly annoyed, I turned around to see what the hold up was. My jaw dropped when I realized Dixie was POOPING on the SIDEWALK!

That’s right. In front of God and every homeowner in The Oaks – she laid the biggest poop bomb I have ever seen on the sidewalk. Not just the sidewalk – but the sidewalk area right.in.front.of someone’s driveway. So more than likely, they drove through the poo on their way to work this morning.

Immediately I jerked her leash and tried my hardest to drag her to the grass. I figured it was better that she poop on someone’s front yard than on their sidewalk. Unfortunately, this didn’t help at all. Instead Dixie continued to poop as I drug her and left a trail of poo leading from the large mound on the sidewalk all the way to the grass.

So not only does that homeowner have a huge pile of poo right in their driveway, they also have a nice little path leading to their grass.

And what did I do? I did what any respectable American citizen would do. I walked to their front door, rang the doorbell and asked if I could borrow a baggie so I could clean up the mess my dog had made.

NOT!!!!

Once I was sure Dixie was finished with her movement, I jerked her leash and we got outta dodge before anyone could see us! Despite the hills, I have never run so quickly in my life. My Nike+ indicated that I was running a little less than a 9 minute mile – for comparison I usually run a little over a 10 minute mile. We were MOVING! I did not want to get caught being that person who lets their dog crap on the sidewalk. Plus – I don’t live in The Oaks so I won’t have to hear the neighbors complain about it so I figured it was best to just run.

In my defense, it wasn't until a mile later when we breathlessly arrived at my front door that I realized I could have knocked on the front door and asked for a bag to clean up the mess. In the heat of the moment, my fight or flight instincts took over and I chose flight.

Obviously, I’m not proud of what I did. I really hope they didn’t drive through the poo and smear it into the concrete. I also keep sending up prayers that they don’t have small children that find the poo before the parents.

Either way – lesson learned, I need to carry a plastic bag with me every time I take Dixie for a run. Because apparently she is not the perfect little lady that I thought she was. If she’s gotta go – she’s gonna go: concrete or grass makes no difference to her. And I’m honestly not too sure how many quick getaways I have left in me.

Oye….

31 comments:

The Simple Life said...

I wish you could see me laughing right now! I love coming to your blog because I know it's going to make me laugh out loud!

Chloƫ said...

Yikes! That is pretty funny and traumatizing at the same time! Hopefully they have dogs and will blame it on them!

Mrs. Muffins said...

I am dying right now!!!!

Goodness, that is so funny. Hee hee!

Miss Southern Vol said...

hahaha that is absolutely hilarious! I actually had my lab/pit do that to me but in the middle of the road- and ummm pretty sure I did the SAME exact thing you did! Therefore you have not been judged! Oh the joy of pets :)

Miss Chelsea said...

Hahaha this is hilarious!! I would have probably done the same thing!! =x

Jamie said...

Hahaha I love this story and your honesty!! I have been running a lot too but only gearing up for an 8k! I hope your next run is less eventful!

Natalie said...

oh my gosh! So funny! I totally would have taken off! I have been caught without a bag before and it's SO embarrassing. You just feel like every single person on the block saw what happened!

ajs {of MN} said...

LMAO! My dog is BAD on a leash so we NEVER walk/if we do it's a run and I dont run... I figure the 10 acres at our house that she has to run her little 9 lbs body around on is good enough... good dog owner or bad?? at least i take her to work with me everyday... :/ A

Maggie said...

Haha I love this!! I unfortunately have experienced this a few times as well.

Leah said...

That is hilarious! The same thing has happened to me and I've chosen flight as well. Sh*t happens!

MommyLovesStilettos said...

That would be totally embarrassing but I probably would have took off too! LOL

♥ Elizabeth said...

We used to be those peaople, but I found this little patche that attatch to the leash andle, and even if I don't buy the baggies that fit... one or two plastic grocery bags fit in nicely.

I think we've all been there though: It's as if they know you don't have a bag sometimes! Thanks for the GREAT laugh!

Kendra said...

I feel like this has happened to the best of us. I think we all choose to flight too.! It is natural. No worries. (:

That's What She Said... (No, Really!) said...

Ha! There's no way I would be ringing on anybody's doorbell to give them that news. I guess that's why they say sh!t happens. :)

Carolyn @ life, love & puppy prints said...

This seriously made me laugh! I have been there too! We have this plastic bone that attaches to the leash, and inside the bone are poop bags. One of my dogs is a religious poop on a walk dog, so they are definitely a necessity. At least you had a really good running time! :)

Same Sweet Girl: Memoir of a Southern Belle said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Amber you are so funny!!!! I would have ran too! LOL

My dog pooped all over the waiting room at the vet's office once in front of about 6 people waiting and 4 employees. I swear she pooped before we left the house too! :D

Nicole said...

hehe... that's funny! Don't worry, I'd have done the same thing :)

Ms. Emily Ann said...

haha, oh my goodness, I would have died! And that is a big doggy, so I imagine she has some big poo poo's... Let's just hope the home owners have a big dog and they will assume it was his!

Sara said...

hahahaha! that is too funny! I know the feeling of embarassment to be caught bagless!!! Rest assured every dog owner has one of these moments!

d.a.r. said...

Eh, it happens to the best of us. Oh well :)

Mary Loyal said...

Oh my gosh I was almost in tears laughing so hard!!

Dave and Ashley said...

Awwww you poor thing! And poor Dixie! I am glad you two are okay though (as funny as it is) and didn't get "caught". Just tie a plastic bag to her leash. I bet once you put it on their, you will NEVER need it though. haha.

Alissa said...

Oh I picked a good day to start catching up on my blogs again. This has Amber written all over it too funny girl!

Lindsay said...

Girl, you crack me up :)

Bryan and Chelsey's Moss Moments said...

And yet another reason that I'm glad I don't have pets! ;) Don't worry..I would have run like the wind too! Haha..

Melanie said...

This is one of the funniest posts I've ever read!!!!! I would have done the same thing..run like the wind honey!!! LOL!!!

Design Apprentice said...

After a horrible day this post made me laugh so hard! Oh how our dogs humble us. I'd have done the same as you though, no judgment here.

Sarah said...

Bahahahaha!!! I'd take flight over fight ANY day!! =D

I have been there - almost. Jasper did that to me once. Only we weren't running and we were right in front of the office building of the apartment we lived in last. He stopped and I jerked...and realized what the H was going on. *luckily* (I guess...) it wasn't so icky, so I kicked it into the grass,and proceeded to get the heck out of dodge...and sanitize my flip flops. Not a proud moment.

OneCraftyFox said...

This is too cute! I bet you'll never leave home without a plastic baggie again :)

Happy weekend!

Brittany said...

OH MY GOSH! I am cracking up. I think this happens to the best of us, honestly. I probably would have done the same thing! Luckily Snuggles poo is tiny ;-) haha. SO embarrassing though!!

Stacey said...

ha ha... I am going to bring that bag of poo that you left outside my garage!



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