I have a lot to confess this week - so *no* judging!
I confess that I am so happy to be blogging "full time" again. I feel like I'm back to the old me. It's as if the fact that I have the time to blog regularly signals that I've finally gotten this crazy schedule under control and that makes me oh.so.happy!
I confess that I've got baby fever. Yes, I want a baby. Yes, I have a loving husband who will be an excellent father (honestly - he'll be a significantly better parent than me.) Yes, we have supportive parents who cannot wait to be grandparents. Yes I'm turning 26 in a month and hear my internal clock ticking. But it's not the right time. Oh how I wish it were. But it's not the right time. I need to complete grad school and get my CPA cert - that's a two year process. There are still things we want to do together before we commit to raising a child. It's like my heart wants one thing and my brain knows it's not right. I feel like for the first time in our lives Steven and I are making the responsible, well thought decision. So we're sticking to it - my graduation present will hopefully be a baby. Here's hoping these next two years fly by!
I confess that I bite my nails. It's disgusting - but let me explain. My nails look like this naturally.
I can bite my nails off down to the quick and in a matter of two weeks they will look like the above. No special lotions, no meticulous regimen, no special nail polish - just super hard and long. And I'm lazy. Once they get to a certain length I need to trim them back because they interfere with my typing & workouts. So I usually find myself mindlessly biting them off during a fit of anxiety. I get stressed and realize that I need to take the time to sit down to clip & file my nails and the next thing I know - they are gone. I have a feeling that moment is coming pretty soon.....
I confess that I'm a control freak. Okay - so that's nothing new - but my controlling nature has hit an all time high. Steven and I are keeping my little brother this weekend. As a result, I'm probably not going to have time to do our biweekly grocery shopping (unless I take Ethan with me - which seems like a nightmare waiting to happen.) Steven volunteered to do the grocery shopping for me. Most wives would be thrilled - not me. As soon as the suggestion escaped his mouth, my palms started to sweat and my heart began to race. We are on a strict budget and I have an exact amount allotted every two weeks for groceries. I have my grocery shopping down to an art form and I rarely go over budget. Steven likes name brands - he swears by name brands. I have this irrational fear that he's going to go shopping and come home having spent $100 more than allotted. Apparently all these accusations were written all over my face because before I could even begin to object Steven said, "Amber - I'm a grown man. I can do the grocery shopping. Just give me a list and I'll do it." I could tell by his voice it was not up for discussion.
So I've made my list. Umm...it may have the particular brand that I want him to buy - not just "mayo" but "Duke's Mayo" - not just "shredded cheese" but "Great Value shredded cheese". And for items that I'm not exactly sure of the brand, I wrote a price beside them so he knows the range to stay within. And at the top of the list in BIG BOLD letters I wrote the amount that he is allowed to spend. He's gonna crap a brick when he sees this list.
But this is me trying to let go......
I confess that I skipped my 6am WOD (workout) this morning. Again - allow me to explain. Last night's workout was brutal. A 20 minute AMRAP (As Many Reps As Possible) of 10 Push Presses, 10 Kettle bell Swings & 10 Box Jumps. I did 10 rounds plus 12 reps - that's 110 push presses, 102 kettle bell swings & 100 box jump in twenty minutes. And that was after a ten minute warm-up that consisted of 60 double unders (jump rope), 60 lunges, 10 push presses, 10 kettle bell swings & 10 box jumps. And that was after my prewarm-up warm-up of 5 minutes on the jump rope & 300 sit ups!
By the time I got home last night - I could literally barely walk. My calves have *never* burned like this before. And when the alarm clock went off at 5am this morning (which was only 9 1/2 hours after my workout last night) I knew my legs couldn't take anymore. Even though I know my body, in particular my legs, need a rest day today - I'm still pretty pissed at myself for skipping this morning's WOD. I'm going to have to make this up on Sunday!
I confess that I'm happy it's Friday!!!
Hope you all have had a wonderful week and have an even better weekend!