Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Housework Tuesday - Watch Out For Those FUMES

**Yes, this is kind of a long post – but I swear it will be worth it to read to the end. Just humor me.  :)

Watch out for those fumes you might ask? Well as many of you know, this past Saturday was a day for spring cleaning at my house. It was miserable – let me tell you. The weather was absolutely perfect in Charlotte, and instead of getting outside and getting a little sun, I spent my entire day dusting and wiping down every surface of my house.

Let me explain – my home is covered in white: white baseboards, white doors, white blinds & window panes, white tile in the bathrooms, white shower & tubs. And in case you haven’t noticed – I have two boxer puppies that love to drag dirt and mud into my home. Thank the Lord for Clorox wipes. I went through not one, but two, bottles of Clorox wipes while wiping down doors, window panes & base boards. For those of you who aren’t accountants – that’s 50 wipes! (I promise I don’t live in a pig sty – we just have a lot of white!)

I have also mentioned recently that hubby and I are newly addicted to the show Criminal Minds. I’m not quite sure why I love this show so dearly because every episode brings a new fear – being abducted in a park, being abducted while giving a stranger directions, being abducted while on vacation – you get it – I’m scared of being abducted. I would say that about 3 out of 7 shows begin with a woman doing some type of chore in her home. The creepy “watch out” music begins to play as she unknowingly dusts her dining room table and before she knows it WHAM she’s clubbed or shot or stabbed. Not exactly a pleasant thought, huh?

As I said, Steven was not at home during spring cleaning as he was practicing for an upcoming charity football tournament. Something about being at home by myself, all the windows & doors open (my attempt to enjoy some of the pleasant weather) and cleaning like a mad woman with music blaring throughout the house made me feel uneasy. I kept looking over my shoulder, fearful that I might find an attacker lurching in the shadows. Yes, I’m paranoid – I realize this.

So here’s the part where the fumes come into play. My master shower is nearly *impossible* to keep clean. It is a standalone shower with white tile trim & a white floor. I finally found a heavy duty shower cleaner that does the trick – but it stinks to high heavens! I’m serious. This cleaner is so strong and so powerful that I feel as if I can barely breathe when I’m on my hand and knees scrubbing the tile in my shower. Our bathroom is on the small side and doesn’t have very good ventilation – so every time I clean the shower, I find myself at the mercy of the fumes.

If I’m being 100% honest, I waited a little too long between cleanings and my shower grimier than normal. As a result I had to use extra shower spray and scrub with even more intensity. After about fifteen minutes scrubbing my shower, I noticed a tiny red dot on the white base of the shower. What is that? And then another tiny red drop hit the base as well. Now, if I had been thinking logically, I would have realized that the intense fumes coupled with physical excursion had caused my nose to bleed. However, in my state of Criminal Minds induced paranoia, the thoughts in my head went a little something like this….

OMG – OMG – OMG!! Where is he? Where is the killer? I don’t feel like I’ve been shot or stabbed, but I’m bleeding. OMG I’M BLEEDING!!! I don’t even know how to work Steven’s gun in the closet. OMG. WHERE IS MY HUSBAND!?!?!

I sprinted out of the bathroom and ran out back to find Dixie and Bauer – if my husband wasn’t around they were my last line of defense. My heart was racing and my thoughts were jumbled. I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of a window and I noticed my nose was bleeding. As the fresh air began to clear my mind I was able to understand. Nose bleed…fumes…IDIOT!

Thankfully, there wasn’t an attempt on my life and no one tried to steal me. Unfortunately, I believe the fumes caused a little damage to my nervous system. I had an insane migraine for the rest of the day. So bad in fact that I had to cancel plans with friends at the last minute. My lungs also ached for the remainder of the day. As I was complaining to Steven about having to cancel plans, I asked if he thought all the fumes from cleaning might have given me a headache. He said it was possible and I told him that my nose had actually started to bleed while I was cleaning the shower.

This sent him through the roof. Apparently, cleaning chemicals can be very toxic. (Shouldn’t that put that on the bottle??) I could have passed out or gone into some type of arrest while he was gone. I should have opened more windows or turned on a fan. What was I thinking, he asked?? In the middle of Steven’s tirade, his dad called. Steven decided to share my cleaning mishap with Chris (father-in-law) who also decided to school me on the do’s and don’ts of house hold cleaning products. (Since they both were so obviously concerned about my nose bleed I decided against telling them the rest of the story – I didn’t want to make my case any worse!)

Okay – okay. Lesson learned. And let this Housework Tuesday be a lesson to you as well! Cleaning your home is hazardous to your health. It’s incredibly dangerous – do not attempt on your own. Hire a professional and be done with it! :)


...::Mrs. Southern Bride::... said...

Oh my goodness! That would have scared me too! I get jumpy like that when I watch 24...eek!

MG said...

My mother always warned me not to mix chemicals when cleaning when I was younger, but I never really thought anything would happen! I can't believe you got a nosebleed! I have started using Method products, they don't have the same abrasive smells, but nothing says clean like the smell of bleach!

Sarah said...

Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets all paranoid when my husband isn't around! I do the same thing. =)

I can't clean with all those chemicals because I have asthma and really can't breathe if I use them. *sad*

Mandy said...

I love watching creepy show's..but it does get your mind wandering to those freaking thoughts of "it could be you". I guess it's a good thing, that your more aware! :D Glad your ok from your cleaning adventure!!!!xoxo

Anonymous said...

I'm only laughing because I know you're okay! Lol!

Just a suggestion... Those Mr. Clean Magic Erasers work incredibly well on white surfaces... and showers too ;)

Heather Martin said...

LMAO!!!!!!! I can't believe you really thought a killer was in your house. You better be careful next time you are cleaning your bathroom. I can't believe it made your nose bleed. Glad you are OK!!!!

Mrs in Training said...

Haha, I like your lesson learned, but I feel for you, I am jumpy too! The best thing I've found for cleaning my shower is the Magic Erasers..they are the only thing that can get the scum and lime scale up!

Kelly Marie said...

Hahah! I'm super paranoid, as well! I'm glad you are okay & definitely keep a fan going or something next time!!

Mateya said...

Oh goodness...I can't believe you thought you had a killer in your house haha! I do get sort of jumpy like that too, always looking over my shoulder!

Glad you are okay! I can't believe you got a nose bleed from that...yikes! I totally agree...hire a cleaning lady :)

K said...

Oh my goodness! I would have freaked out too!! Glad you're ok though!

Kate said...

Amber, I've never been to your house, but I swear I think you are the cleanest person I know! And I'm so jealous, because I am just not a naturally clean person, I'm naturally messy and sloppy. Don't get me wrong, my house is not infested with bugs or mice or anything, we do take out the trash and clean the toilets, but right now my bathrooms have fallen into a little bit of extra dirty and god don't even start on my kitchen. I'm like a week behind on dishes. I just really wish I had your motivation to get all that cleaning done! Good for you!

Ms. J said...

Too funny! I am the same way, I watch way too many of those shows and I am always thinking worst case scenario in every situation. My husband thinks I'm crazy, but my mind just goes there-there is no controlling it! haha

PS. We pick up our boxer puppy in May! We are so excited and have heard great things about them!

Chelsey said...

Oh my gosh..that is hilarious! Well, not the fumes or your nose bleed, but I'm just picturing you running for your life, wondering where the killer is! Hahahaha.

Khristi said...

I am always scared when I vacuum at home alone, always looking behind me. I think it's the noise, and I cant hear anything else. And I check behind the shower curtain every time I go in the bathroom. I havent watched Criminal Minds since I moved out on my own, as in last February.

Have you tried the every day shower spray? Hopefully that will help!

Not that you need anymore scary information on cleaners, but my mom's neigbor cleans houses, and she has lost her sense of taste because she was breathing so many fumes!

LittleMissDreamer said...

thanks for the advice... it was much appreciated as today was my cleaning day:) hahaha

btw your posts are so creative/fun/interesting to read:)

Tori and Chad said...

I work in a domestic violence and sexual assault shelter so I'm terrified to leave a window or door open!

melslatt said...

hah! We are Criminal Mind freaks too. Not going to lie though, I put up with being freaked out just to get my Dereck Morgan fix : )

Stacey said...

Okay - tip from Mom - get a Magic Eraser. I promise it will do the trick on your shower! No fumes!

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