Housework Tuesday - Watch Out For Those FUMES

**Yes, this is kind of a long post – but I swear it will be worth it to read to the end. Just humor me.  :)

Watch out for those fumes you might ask? Well as many of you know, this past Saturday was a day for spring cleaning at my house. It was miserable – let me tell you. The weather was absolutely perfect in Charlotte, and instead of getting outside and getting a little sun, I spent my entire day dusting and wiping down every surface of my house.

Let me explain – my home is covered in white: white baseboards, white doors, white blinds & window panes, white tile in the bathrooms, white shower & tubs. And in case you haven’t noticed – I have two boxer puppies that love to drag dirt and mud into my home. Thank the Lord for Clorox wipes. I went through not one, but two, bottles of Clorox wipes while wiping down doors, window panes & base boards. For those of you who aren’t accountants – that’s 50 wipes! (I promise I don’t live in a pig sty – we just have a lot of white!)

I have also mentioned recently that hubby and I are newly addicted to the show Criminal Minds. I’m not quite sure why I love this show so dearly because every episode brings a new fear – being abducted in a park, being abducted while giving a stranger directions, being abducted while on vacation – you get it – I’m scared of being abducted. I would say that about 3 out of 7 shows begin with a woman doing some type of chore in her home. The creepy “watch out” music begins to play as she unknowingly dusts her dining room table and before she knows it WHAM she’s clubbed or shot or stabbed. Not exactly a pleasant thought, huh?

As I said, Steven was not at home during spring cleaning as he was practicing for an upcoming charity football tournament. Something about being at home by myself, all the windows & doors open (my attempt to enjoy some of the pleasant weather) and cleaning like a mad woman with music blaring throughout the house made me feel uneasy. I kept looking over my shoulder, fearful that I might find an attacker lurching in the shadows. Yes, I’m paranoid – I realize this.

So here’s the part where the fumes come into play. My master shower is nearly *impossible* to keep clean. It is a standalone shower with white tile trim & a white floor. I finally found a heavy duty shower cleaner that does the trick – but it stinks to high heavens! I’m serious. This cleaner is so strong and so powerful that I feel as if I can barely breathe when I’m on my hand and knees scrubbing the tile in my shower. Our bathroom is on the small side and doesn’t have very good ventilation – so every time I clean the shower, I find myself at the mercy of the fumes.

If I’m being 100% honest, I waited a little too long between cleanings and my shower grimier than normal. As a result I had to use extra shower spray and scrub with even more intensity. After about fifteen minutes scrubbing my shower, I noticed a tiny red dot on the white base of the shower. What is that? And then another tiny red drop hit the base as well. Now, if I had been thinking logically, I would have realized that the intense fumes coupled with physical excursion had caused my nose to bleed. However, in my state of Criminal Minds induced paranoia, the thoughts in my head went a little something like this….

OMG – OMG – OMG!! Where is he? Where is the killer? I don’t feel like I’ve been shot or stabbed, but I’m bleeding. OMG I’M BLEEDING!!! I don’t even know how to work Steven’s gun in the closet. OMG. WHERE IS MY HUSBAND!?!?!

I sprinted out of the bathroom and ran out back to find Dixie and Bauer – if my husband wasn’t around they were my last line of defense. My heart was racing and my thoughts were jumbled. I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of a window and I noticed my nose was bleeding. As the fresh air began to clear my mind I was able to understand. Nose bleed…fumes…IDIOT!

Thankfully, there wasn’t an attempt on my life and no one tried to steal me. Unfortunately, I believe the fumes caused a little damage to my nervous system. I had an insane migraine for the rest of the day. So bad in fact that I had to cancel plans with friends at the last minute. My lungs also ached for the remainder of the day. As I was complaining to Steven about having to cancel plans, I asked if he thought all the fumes from cleaning might have given me a headache. He said it was possible and I told him that my nose had actually started to bleed while I was cleaning the shower.

This sent him through the roof. Apparently, cleaning chemicals can be very toxic. (Shouldn’t that put that on the bottle??) I could have passed out or gone into some type of arrest while he was gone. I should have opened more windows or turned on a fan. What was I thinking, he asked?? In the middle of Steven’s tirade, his dad called. Steven decided to share my cleaning mishap with Chris (father-in-law) who also decided to school me on the do’s and don’ts of house hold cleaning products. (Since they both were so obviously concerned about my nose bleed I decided against telling them the rest of the story – I didn’t want to make my case any worse!)

Okay – okay. Lesson learned. And let this Housework Tuesday be a lesson to you as well! Cleaning your home is hazardous to your health. It’s incredibly dangerous – do not attempt on your own. Hire a professional and be done with it! :)