Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Who Needs Romance??

For some reason the idea of romance has been a popular topic at my house lately. Err…maybe I should rephrase….for some reason I have been talking about romance a lot lately – hubby has been begrudgingly listening.

I’m not quite sure why the need for a surprise bouquet of flowers or surprise dinner at my favorite restaurant has been so prevalent over the past few weeks. Maybe I’ve been reading one too many love stories? Maybe I’ve read too many blogs about husbands who surprise their wives with romantic gestures? Regardless….it’s possible I’ve been dropping some not so subtle hints to hubby about my need for a little romance.

And he has tried valiantly to fulfill my need for romantic gestures. For example, Saturday night he showered me with words of affirmation and complements. To which he asked, “Is that romantic?” Laughing, I responded, “Umm…not quite what I was looking for – but I really appreciate it.” Or mockingly singing a love song to me on our ride home Sunday. “Is that romantic enough for you”, he inquired. “A for effort – but not there just yet.”

Steven is a “man’s man” – it’s the reason I married him. He loves football, beef, beer, hunting, pick-up trucks, boots – all things manly. And I love that about him – it’s what attracted me to him when we first started dating. It’s what makes me feel protected and secure. It’s one of the traits I still find so sexy about him. I know I couldn’t have married a super sensitive, always in touch with his emotions kind of man.

Sunday afternoon, on our drive home from Crossfit he had me in hysterics. Just cracking me up. Always joking, almost always light hearted. So I decided right there to accept Steven’s attempts at being romantic and be grateful that he tries so hard to make me happy. I realized that I have read one too many Nicholas Sparks’ novels and I have a skewed version of what romance is. That I don’t need flowers once a month or a fancy dinner out to feel loved and appreciated. And just when I decided that I could l learn to live without constant romance…..he did it….he did the most romantic gesture I could have asked for….

About 2 am Monday morning I was woken from my sleep by whines and rustling on Steven’s side of the bed. Dixie was heaving. For a split second I lay there with my eyes shut tight – praying that she wouldn’t get sick, but knowing the signs all too well, preparing myself to get out of bed and clean up her puke.

Which I hate. I hate puke more than anything in the world. I can clean up poo and pee with the best of them – but puke just sends me into a tailspin. I gag, cough and break out into sweats. It literally makes me sick on my stomach.

So l lay there dreading the moment that I knew was coming. And sure enough, about ten seconds later I heard it. I was preparing to throw back the covers when Steven miraculously got out of bed and ran into the bathroom. Without a word he cleaned up the mess and comforted sick Dixie. Startled, I asked if I could help him, to which he replied, “No I got it. Go back to sleep.”

When he crawled into bed a few minutes later, he kissed me on the cheek and snuggled close to me.

As I drifted back to sleep, I couldn’t help but smile to myself. Good job honey…..who says you don’t know what romance is?

Once again I realized – every day love doesn’t mirror the romantic scenes played out in Hollywood or on the pages of a Twilight novel. My extraordinary, every day love consists of acts of kindness that make my day a little easier, words of affirmation that remind me what a beautiful, talented woman I am, and gentle, loving embraces from a man who still looks at me as if we were 18 years old again.

I’m not saying that I don’t secretly wish for a surprise bouquet of flowers every once and a while or hope that one day he will drag me out into the rain and ask me to dance (hint, hint) but I am a blessed woman to share life with a man who lives to make me happy. Here’s praying that never changes….

24 comments:

Same Sweet Girl: Memoir of a Southern Belle said...

Awww so sweet!!!! I am the same exact way. I read too many books and magazines and blogs about romance and romantic gestures and I expect my husband to do all of these things. But just like you I get to thinking...I fell in love and married him because of the way he is and I wouldn't want him any other way. He has his own way of being romantic. :)

B said...

You are definitely not alone! I am the same way. I'm such a hopeless romantic and I have to remind myself every once in a while that guys are just wired differently. They really are! I love doing sweet things for my husband and sometimes guys just don't think of those things like we do. It's the little things, right?

Mateya said...

I am the same way! I am constantly wishing for a sweet surprise in my office or a random suggestion of a date night out of the blue. And yes, those things are great...but cleaning up puke for you is even better :) It's nice to be reminded of the little things and the reasons why we fell in love with them in the first place.

Kelly said...

That's so sweet!!!!!

Wes only sends flowers on our anniversary or if I've had a really really bad day. He has his romantic moments that in the last 11 years (yes it will be 11 years in November) I can count those gestures on one hand, but those are the best!

I quit reading romance novels...because they are so unrealistic. It makes you want more out of your love life that just isn't going to happen. Real men don't act like that...and if they did they would be interested in other men LOL!

Mrs. Nelson said...

Very cute post :) Movies and books do make it hard for us & them don't they? It's just not fair. It is always the little things that I think are romantic too. Anywho, loved reading this. Hope you have a blessed day! :)

That's What She Said... (No, Really!) said...

You are so right, lady! We must look deeper sometimes to find the romance in our marriages. Loved this post!

Ms. Emily Ann said...

What a sweet post! I am not one for over the top gushy romance either, it's almost sickening. We each need to have our own interpretation of what is romantic, and I'd say you are a lucky gal! But I agree, a surprise bouquet every now and then wouldn't be the worst thing in the world :)

Melissa said...

Hey Girl! Hope you had a great weekend! That is the sweetest thing! I agree that romance comes in all forms and those of us with significant others who aren't so romantically inclined (in the traditional sense anyway) have to remember that! =)

Ashley said...

I think most women's idea of romance is skewed -- thanks a lot Hollywood! haha just kidding - kinda.
it's so wonderful to hear women appreciate their man for who they are and not trying to change them. You hit it on the head girl -- you married a man's man (as did I) and they aren't so prone to romance in the Hollywood sense, but you and I both know they make us swoon lol

ajs {of MN} said...

i love this. i am married to a man's man as well- and all though i do wish for extra kisses and flowers, etc etc etc once in a while... the man i chose to spend the rest of my life wish is the perfect fit for me! he does things, big & small, for me ALL OF THE TIME! sounds like your love language might be "acts of service" i.e. loving it when your better half does things for you and or with you! that's ours! great story, thank you! xo. A

Charlotte said...

Its revelations like these that make your marriage stronger! my husband is the same way in that "thoughtfulness" or what I deem that to mean doesn't mean the same thing to him. He has a reason for everything he does. I used to get so upset that he couldn't read my mind when it came to gifts and I was always so dissapointed. Until I realized he picks out things for me with his own thoughtfulness behind it and I just never stopped to see it that way! This is a great post and so true! AND it shows that he is going to be a great daddy one day with those middle of the night trips!!!

♥ Dani said...

I seriously adore your blog... and I'm so excited for my own newlywed life with my love. It's the little things that count, right? I love seeing other couples happy. ♥

Dave and Ashley said...

What a sweet post! I am the same with puke!

Nicole *Sailor's Sweetheart* said...

You must have been reading my mind, I feel the same exact way! Even about the puke (I just can't handle it!). I try to give him hints as to doing romantic things, but then I feel bad when it comes out not so subtly and I make him feel guilty for not doing something so unimportant in the long run. But I'm working on it too and remembering that I fell in love with him for many reasons, most importantly for being him, romance challenged and all lol (although when it comes to saying really sweet things, he's a pro!) :)

Brittany Ann said...

I love it. My husband is a man's man, too. And he expresses his romance in the exact same way. Frustrating at times, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

JoJo said...

Awww so sweet!

* Tyly * said...

I totally get it!!!

Sometimes I yearn for more romance, but when he lets me watch the Bachelor Pad instead of watching a show he really wanted to watch, I feel so loved. He shows me in so many little ways, and that's enough for me! :)

Kelsea Gunter said...

I echo the feelings of the comments before mine...we can definitely be way too hard on guys, sometimes. It's important to find ways to give and feel love that is personalized to your needs and personality..not just because it looks good on film or paper. It's also good to remember that they need the same grace that God gives to us daily....it helps me to see things in a very different light!

Melanie said...

How sweet of your hubby! Its always the little unexpected things that are the most romantic! I think guys tend to overthink being romantic. My favorite thing is waking up to a bunch of post-it notes all over the house with little "I love you's" scribbled on them!

Meg Fletcher said...

What a cute post! Sometimes those little things can be the ones you'll always remember!

Miss Chelsea said...

Such a good post... those dang movies and books get us girls thinkin all these crazy thoughts and our poor fellas don't even stand a chance!

TeachingInHeels said...

This is something that I needed to read today. I think I too share unrealistic expectations of romanctic gestures from my boyfriend. He is the one I feel in love with for so many reasons, which I would never change, so why would I expect him to do things out of character? Love this post...

Nicole said...

That was beautiful :). Brought tears to my eyes :). Sorry I've been away on my honeymoon... I'm just now getting caught up :)

Ashton said...

This is SOOO true! It's hard not to want that fantasy love, but these men of ours love us in the best way they can- and it's usually what's best for us. ....so hard to swallow.... *sigh*

thanks for sharing the optimistic side! :) I have to constantly give myself a similar peptalk!



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