Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Being A Better Wife

Better Wife Wednesday

I recently stumbled across Karissa’s blog Being a Better Wife and I must say her writing is incredibly thought provoking and inspiring. Each Wednesday she hosts “Being a Better Wife Wednesday” in which she highlights ways that women can improve their marriage.

Today’s post felt somewhat like a punch to the gut. Not because Karissa was rude or said anything inappropriate – but because she was so right. In short, she discussed how a wife should love and respect her husband no matter how he treats her. My actions towards my husband should always be a reflection of Christ’s love and his calling on my life to be a Godly wife.

So it kind of felt like a punch to the gut, because I don’t live my life that way. I love my husband, dearly. He is my best friend and my relationship with him is the most important earthly relationship that I have. But my love for him isn’t a reflection of Christ’s love – my love for him is usually dependant upon whether or not I feel that he loves me. So if he’s treating me nicely, then I treat him nicely. If Steven is yelling and screaming during an argument, then I yell and scream during an argument. It’s so sinful, and I’m ashamed of how shallow my love for my husband is in comparison to my love for myself.

So now Karissa wants to know five ways that I can be a more God-centered spouse on a daily basis. This should be pretty easy for me because anything would be an improvement – but I want to make an actual promise to my husband to be the wife that I vowed to be on the day that I married him. So over the upcoming weeks I will do the following to be a more God-centered wife:

- I will pray for my husband’s need every day. I will pray that he is blessed, that he feels secure, that he sees himself as Christ sees him. I will pray for God’s guidance in his life and peace in our current situation.

- I will spend more time doing the things that he enjoys – like sitting outside with him while he washes the cars or spending time on the back deck in the evenings.

- I will fold my laundry – because piles of clean clothes beside the bed drives him crazy and there are always piles of clean clothes beside the bed.

- I will give him the benefit of the doubt. Instead of assuming he meant to hurt my feelings or purposefully forgot to take out the trash, I will assume that he is human and made a simple mistake. I will do my best to let the little things slide.

- I will have faith in him – in his dreams – in his abilities. I will stop questioning his every decision and believe that he can do what he says he can do. Instead of trying to bite my tongue so I don’t say something I will regret – I will pray that God changes my heart so I can gladly dream with my husband and support him without hesitation.
It won’t be easy, but it’s something that I feel convicted to do. If I truly believe that Steven is God’s best for me (which I do) then Steven deserves God’s best from me.

How can you be a more God-centered wife, fiancé or girlfriend?

PS - Don't forget to check out my CSN Giveaway HERE


Mateya said...

What a great post. I am guilty of the same thing. When Robbie gets mad I get mad right back!

Mrs.Vid said...

Amber, thank you for this amazing post. I am guilty of yelling when Adam yells also. I am guilty also of assuming he said something to hurt my feelings when in reality he didn't mean anything by the comment at all. I will work on these things as well. Adam also deserves a more selfless love.

Hope you have a great day.

Kristin said...

Wow. Talk about convicting! I needed to hear all of this today. We had a WONDERFUL staycation this past weekend, but now that we're back to the grind, I just got upset about some things DH wanted to take to work for lunch. GOOD GRIEF! Talk about not rolling with it... I will be thinking about some things I can do today to be a more supportive, helpful, unconditionally loving wife today... Thanks for the reminder Amber!

Nicole-Lynn said...

Such a great post! I enjoyed reading it and it did get me thinking :) Thank you!

Trish said...

Amber, thank you honey for this thought provoking post. A very nice reminder that our husbands are human and that giving them the benefit of the doubt is the unconditional love they deserve. oxo

Kristin said...

Hi! Me again :-) Just thought I'd let you know that YOU, my dear, are the spotlighted blog today for "Love My Readers Week"! Thanks again for your thought provoking post today... - Oh, and you're right, I AM glad my hubby cares! I just get such a kick out of the fact that he has such a definite opinion. Seems many men don't give clothes a second thought! Happy Wednesday to ya :-)

Aly @ Analyze This said...

I can't wait until I am married, so I can refer back to all of your wonderful tips and guidance! You are so good!

Kristie said...

This is such a wonderful post, Amber! I know exactly where you are coming from! It's the whole Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus thing...we don't think alike. When my husband is yelling, I don't yell back, but I do withdraw from him and I just assume he is being a jerk. I don't give him the benefit of the doubt all the time and that hurts his feelings. I think I might nag a little too much, also. Take out the trash...fix that lamp...clean out the fishtank...don't leave your shoes in the hallway...turn off those lights...I need to work on being a better wife. Thanks for posting this today. I needed this.

Mrs. Blimes said...

Thank you so much for sharing! It is too easy to let the little things turn into hurt feelings isnt it? I am right there with ya on the trash issue! LOL

There is an amazing book i read on this very subject. The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.

It is hilarious and very enlightening. From the sounds of this post youd love it! I know I did and I give it away as wedding/bridal shower gifts every chance i get!

Thanks again!


MrsThomas said...

I LOVE this!!! :) Thank you so much for participating! :)

I too am soooo bad about putting the laundry away! It will sit in the hamper next to the bed for a few days until I push it into the closet (haha!) the hubs will come home so excited because he THINKS I put it away... only to find it hiding in the closet! hahaha! But it is certainly something I can do to show him how much I care about his wants and needs too. :)

And I think we are all in the same boat... just because I wrote the post certainly does NOT mean I am any good at it either! It was just as much of a punch in the gut for me. ;) God likes to kick my butt sometimes. He knows it's the only way to really get me sometimes. ;)

MrsThomas said...

oh! and I forgot to tell you I figured out how to do the linky list thing! so please post your link!!! pretty pretty please!!! :)

Same Sweet Girl: Memoir of a Southern Belle said...

Wonderful post!!!! Do not feel bad because you are not the only one. I'm sure every wife goes through the same thing including me!! We just have to work at it! Thanks so much for the tips!! I'm also doing The Love Dare right now. Have you done that?? It's amazing and I'm learning so much!!

Alissa said...

This is so sweet. It's the little things in life that count right?

Squirmy said...

This is a great post, definitely made me think!

Aliesha & Tad said...

Stopping in to read this from the link on Kristin's blog. Thanks for the encouraging post!

Aliesha @ Feathers in Our Nest

Anonymous said...

"If I truly believe that Steven is God’s best for me (which I do) then Steven deserves God’s best from me."

love that statement! so true! thanks for sharing, Amber!

Southerland Living said...

what a great post!

Brittany Ann said...

I struggle with this too! I pray about it a lot.

Melanie said...

I just became your newest follower! Such a great post and definately makes me think of how I can be a better wife myself!

d.a.r. said...

Awesome post and very timely! Thanks for sharing this.

Tiffany said...

Wow!!! I do that too!! You are not alone sister! Thanks for the wake up call!!!

Katie said...

um, i LOVE this and want to read it going forward! i think it'd definately a punch in the gut to a lot of us!!!

thanks for sharing love :)

Jami Balmet said...

Oh your blog is just soo cute! I just found it and I am happy that I did!

I'm your newest follower and I'm exscited to start reading your posts :)

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