Tuesday, August 3, 2010

If I Die Young

A little over a week ago I learned that one of my college classmates passed away – at 25 years old. I talk all the time about how old I feel, but really and truly, 25 is a cruelly young age for everything to end.

This Saturday I heard “If I Die Young” by Band Perry for the first time. With the news of Graham’s death fresh on my mind, the lyrics to this song literally knocked the wind out of me. Seconds into the song I was crying uncontrollably.

I was haunted Saturday night as I tried to sleep. What would I say if I died young? How would I want to be buried, be remembered, be mourned and wished farewell? As morbid as it sounds, I could not lay this thought to rest until I formulated my last wishes, just in case I unexpectedly pass.

If I Die Young…..
Pin my badge across my heart and place my Bible in my hands. No matter what the season, lay me in a white cotton dress. I’m going to meet my Maker and I want to look my best.

Lord send an angel to my mother, to wipe away her tears. Tell her not to think of what I’ve missed, but of all I did while here. I knew the love of a mother who never led me astray. I knew the passion of a good man who loved me faithfully each day. I lived each day to the fullest and spent more time happy than sad – what more could a mother ever ask?

Please tell Daddy not to worry, Pastor Greg will send me Home. Daddy baptized me and married me. As a pastor and a father, he more than did his duty. But no father should have to bury child - so just hold Mama’s hand and think of when I’ll see you again.

Gather my family and friends in the quad of Wingate University beneath the oaks and magnolias. This is the where I met the love of my life and the beautiful place where we were married. It seems only fitting this be the setting where I tell him goodbye.

Lord allow a gentle breeze to whisper in his ear my love and tenderness. Let him know I kept my promise, faithful unto death. I’ve released him from his vow and pray his heart will mend. While I hope that I’m remembered, Lord let him love again.

If I have one regret, it’s that I didn’t win more souls for my Lord. So tell Pastor Greg to share the message and please dear friends, please listen.

I’m already in His splendor and I’m happy to be Here. Mema and Nana welcomed me at the Gate - wish you could have seen the smile upon my face. What I’ve left behind no longer matters, so do not mourn for my sake. Just play “Sweet Home Alabama” and send me to my Savior.

And each time you see God’s Glory when the sun bursts through the clouds, take comfort knowing I’m in a better place now.


Brittany said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. I heard this song a while ago on someone's blog, I forget who, but instantly loved it! It's such a wonderful song. Hang in there.

Mateya said...

Holy moly, I had goosebumps reading this! You're amazing!

Sorry to hear about your friend, you're so right 25 is too young for it all to end.

Ms. Emily Ann said...

So, so sorry to hear of your friend. It's such an unexplainable tragedy when someone loses their life so young.

This was a beautiful post that brought tears to my eyes. We just must remember to cherish every moment, because you really never know... sending you and your friends, and Graham's family, love and strength.

Kristin said...

Wow. Just get me bawling this morning Amber! Did you write all of that? Amazing. Sending a prayer and a hug. I know how news like this can knock the wind out of you. But you will be able to get up and carry on soon my dear.

Lindsay said...

Terrible! Prayers send your way!! Beautiful post!

Chloë said...

So sorry about your friend. And this post was very brave of you to write. Thanks for sharing a little piece of your heart.

Aly @ Analyze This said...

So sorry to hear about the loss of your friend, Graham.

I heard this song a few months back. Very sad song, but really makes you think.

Like Mateya stated, I got goosebumps reading your post today. You're such a strong writer and I thank you so much for putting all your feelings and thoughts into these posts.

The Simple Life said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. It's so hard to loose someone your own age, and it's a feeling that never goes away.

My BFF died when we were 20 years old. It's the hardest death (to this day) that I've had to deal with, and here we are 15 years later and it still hurts, I still miss her and I still think of her every day!

Again I want to say how very sorry I am for your loss.

Birdie said...

So sad, but such beautiful words!

Julieeexo said...

I'm really sorry to hear about your friend but this is a beautiful post :(

Nicole said...

This was a beautiful post. It brought me to tears!

I'm sorry about your friend's passing! It truly is tragic for someone to pass so young. I'll be praying for your friend's family and for you today!

blivbook said...

Thats unfortunate :(
We hope you feel better!
This is a very thoughtful and touching post - we need to value whats ahead, and live life to the fullest!

Cheers, B & Liv
B L I V B O O K : darling&diva ♥

Allison said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Sending a prayer your way. I absolutely love that song and also got chills while reading your post.

love jenny xoxo said...

I just heard this song a few days ago and I'm not going to lie, it got pretty misty-eyed. it does really make you think though...

Mr. Superman & Mrs. S. said...

I'm so sorry sweetie. I know how it feels to lose a friend so young.

This is beautiful.

Annie said...

i don't know how you wrote our your last wishes. i have tears in my eyes from reading what you wrote.

& i have been obsessed with the band perry song for months!! i LOVE it!! i don't listen to it on repeat anymore but still love it ;)

New Mommy!!! said...

That was simply beautiful!! So sorry for your loss. That must be so hard! How terrible to losse life so young. My prayers go out to his family and friends.

Enjoy every day. I wish I was 25 again. What a great year that was for me.

Anna said...

I am really sorry to hear about your friend, too. Amazing words on death.

Came here from Windy Poplars. :)

rkjalernpan said...

This is amazing. It really made me stop and give thanks for the breath I'm taking and the words I'm allowed to read. Thanks for the perspective, I really needed it tonight.

Anonymous said...

I heard this song a couple of weeks ago and ever since then I cannot get it out of my head. So sorry to hear about your friend.

Miss Southern Vol said...

What an amazing post! I LOVE this song! with all the stress of the wedding its these songs right now that just bring on the tears!!

Design Apprentice said...

Your words are incredible, I am literally awe inspired from reading your precious words.

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, it's so hard to lose friends so young. Truly something we wont understand until we our with Our Lord. In the mean time I find solace in the song "May Angels Lead You In"

Anne said...

So sorry for your loss. I have a friend who was just diagnosed with cancer at age 26 and it has hit so close to home for me too. Thank God for grace and His peace that we know where we are going when the time comes! This post was absolutely beautiful!

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