Tuesday, August 24, 2010

I Would Make The Worst Housewife Ever!


I came to the conclusion this morning that I would make a terrible housewife. Let me explain…

Steven leaves for the office about 7:15 each morning – I on the other hand do not have to leave until 8:40. But I feel bad staying in the bed while he is up getting ready for his day. And we started The Zone diet yesterday which requires a lot of measuring foods and calculating portions. So I get up with him at 6:45 each morning, put on a pot of coffee and, as of yesterday, make him a warm breakfast. I don’t mind. It’s actually enjoyable to spend the morning with him before he heads out the door. It’s also rewarding to feel like I am somehow making his life a little easier each morning.

He’s out the door at 7:15 each morning which should leave me an hour and half to take my time getting ready and do a few small chores around the house before I’m out the door. That’s what a good wife would do, correct?

Well that was not the case this morning. As soon as I heard him start his truck, I threw the dogs outside, jumped back in the bed and reset the alarm for 8:00 am. If I could fall asleep quickly I would have had an additional 45 minutes sleep….

But I couldn’t fall asleep. Feeling guilty for not using this time to wash the dishes or make the bed, I laid there thinking of all the reasons I would be a terrible fulltime housewife.

1. I’m horrible about laundry. I will wash a load of clothes and forget to put them in the dryer – for a day, maybe two. When I finally remember I need to change over from washer to dryer, the clothes reek from sitting wet too long and I have to rewash them. This happens at least once a week. I swear my water bill would decrease by 20% if I could kick this habit.

2. Speaking of water bill, I never pay it on time. It is always three to five days later – without fail. It isn’t a matter of not having the money, it’s a matter of forgetting. Every other bill is paid before or on the due date, but that water bill gets me every month!

3. I don’t iron. Period. I refuse to buy clothes that need to be ironed. If I can’t throw it in the dryer for a quick refresher, then I’m not buying it. And if by some chance I purchase an item that absolutely has to be ironed, I barter with Steven so he will iron the article of clothing for me.

4. I always burn the bread: crescent rolls, garlic bread, toast, corn bread. I set the timer, I check the bread often, but somehow it always get burnt. It’s infuriating!

5. It is impossible for me to go the grocery store and get every item on my list. I make a list, I check it twice, but somehow I walk out of the grocery store missing at least one staple every single week: milk, bread, deodorant, toilet paper. It’s not something we could live without – it’s always something of vital importance and I have to go back to the store. Once again – infuriating!

6. I never check the mail. Ever. When Steven travels, our mail will literally pile up in the mail box waiting his return. I pay the bills – but I hate finding them in the mailbox so I leave this chore to the hubby.

7. I put on my makeup on the way to work each morning simply so I can get an extra 8 minutes of sleep each morning. It’s sheer laziness, but I refuse to wake up a single second earlier than I absolutely have to. So I have become quite good at driving while applying mascara.
This list could go on and on. Seriously. I wish I were the perfect wife and perfect homemaker. I don’t even want to think about what a failure I might be as a mother. My only saving grace is that I’m good at my job – really good at my job. At least I have that going for me! And I also have a hubby who has learned to eat burnt bread, is more than happy to do the ironing and doesn’t mind checking the mail each day. Thank God for good men!  :)

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33 comments:

LindseyLove said...

Haha this is great! I'm the same exact way.. especially with the makeup. My hubby leaves at 5 am each morning and I'm not up until 7 so he puts the dogs out and I stay in bed.. I'd get up too if he didn't have to leave as soon as he wakes up : (

Jamie said...

You're hilarious and I can definitely relate!! My mom always says the dry cleaner is the key to their successful marriage because she also refuses to iron. I blame my bad homemaking skills on her! And she has a little sign that says her goal is to get the laundry out of the washer before the mold sets in, or something like that! ; )

Mrs. Muffins said...

Lol, I AM a housewife and I do half those things.. haha!

;)

Sonja said...

I am right up there with you! M gets up at 4:45a every morning to go to work and works until 5p every night. I don't have to get up until 7:45a LOL so there is no way I am getting up to make him breakfast or anything. I am not a morning person so it's probably best for everyone if I stay sleeping lol

We both refuse to iron aswell lol I'm sure alot of this will change once the baby gets here but right now. noooo thank you. lol!

Ashleigh said...

Lol, I don't think anyone is the perfect housewife. Plus, it's quirks like that that make you you so who cares!

PinkLouLou said...

HA ha I do my mascara in the car everyday. I got a a "tisk tisk" finger no no from a woman the other day and I was like chill lady, I know what I am doing. ha/

THE Stephanie said...

Oh I'm with you girl! I hate laundry and cleaning, with a passion! I've recently begun enjoying cooking, but other household chores? Not so much.

Laura said...

hahaha... oh girl.. i do the same thing.. I get up, have breakfast with him.. then he leaves for the rink and i hop back on the couch or in bed. Luckily right now I don't have a job to go to so I have a couple hours to snooze, clean house, get lunch ready, etc. But it's not easy... especially when I start blogging.. hahaha. You should try the online pay for the water! THen you can just do it from work! :) You make a great housewife... it's give and take from both sides that makes it workable :) xoxo

Kristen @ All In My Twenties said...

Thanks for stopping by and your kind words!!

Love the blog! Im a new follower!!

Elizabeth -Mrs Team Smitty said...

LOL .. I can relate as well .. I'm horrible with laundry .. HORRIBLE ..

All you need is love... said...

I think you made a hundred woman happy today by posting this! Saying the things we all think about ourselves, but fear we are the only ones! Im the exact same as you, and I kick myself daily because my Mom was ALWAYS up when my Dad was up making his bfast and packing his lunch. I
Im semi-new to your blog. So if you post about it and I have missed it, Im sorry for asking- but what is your job?

The Shaw Family said...

I have to agree with Mrs. Muffins. I am a housewife and a momma and I do almost all those things! It doesn't mean you (or I) am a BAD housewife. We just do things a little differently than the typical, *perfect* as we say, housewife. I'm sure your a great wife of the house ;)

That's What She Said... (No, Really!) said...

Getting up at 6:45 am even the majority of the time is a very sweet gesture! You should be proud of yourself for putting together a breakfast for your husband. That is a very sweet gift to give!

Kaylee Rae said...

I will sleep untill the last possible second and can not, like I am not capable, or cooking. I am very very terrible at it. Jacob irons better than I do (thank you military) and dishes, well I don't like the feeling of food and goodness knows what on my hands. I do however love to fold laundry, does that count?

Great post! I don't feel so bad anymore :)

ty said...

Makeup in car = check. Ironing = check. Laundry = super check. My new definition of success is getting the laundry from the washer to the dryer before the mildew sets in.

Kelly said...

Wes gets up at 4:00 and leaves at 5:30. I get up at 7:00 there is no way I’m getting up 2 1/2 hours earlier to "hang out" nope, not happening! I guess I’m a bad wife! LOL Wes would starve before I got up at 4:00 to make breakfast.

Now if I were a housewife, I would (maybe) do that...since I could catch a nap at some point- but lucky for me he doesn’t eat breakfast.

The clothes...get's me every time! If I am not right there I will forget. I set a timer on Saturday's so that I won’t leave them in there! I’m with you, the water bill would go down if I would just get the clothes right. My sister in law has a washer/dryer that washes and dries without you having to do anything. It just switches over when the washer is done to drying. That is handy. It’s in her camper...wonder if they make that in a full sized household model....hmmmmmm

Nicole said...

So a lady at work told me a quick solution to ironing. You know they have that Downy wrinkle release... I've tried it, it only halfway works. Her suggestion was to buy a spritz bottle (for water), fill it with water. The night before hang up your garment and spray with water and smooth wrinkles and you have wrinkle free clothing in the morning. I've tried it twice. Once worked great and the other halfway worked. :)

love jenny xoxo said...

Making breakfast every morning... sounds like you would make a pretty good housewife! I don't iron either and I have forgotten the clothes in the washer, but if you were a full-blown stay at home housewife, you'd be less busy and probably would remember...

at least that's what I think would happen :)

I think you are being too hard on yourself, sounds like you are doing an amazing job!

XOXO

http://lovejennyxoxo.blogspot.com

Sammy said...

Hahah I love this! I get up first but I always take my time and do my make up in the car, whatelse do you have to do while your driving to work, lol. Oh and the laundry thing. I am the WORST about that. Adam always yells at me for washing a big load and overstuffing the dryer, oops. I blame my mom, I never did laundry until I went to college and even then she would volunteer to do if I came home haha.

Brittany said...

Oh Amber, you crack me up! If those are your only bad traits then I think you're okay :) Before I become a house wife, I need to learn how to make more than 5 or 6 meals! Haha

I always do my make-up in the car as well. One time a lady actually honked at me and told me to be a safe driver. I told her to relax and that I've been doing it for years haha. I guess it sort of is dangerous though!

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Mateya said...

Oh my gosh leaving the clothes in the washer is my worst pet peeve! Robbie hates it too! I just can't stand that smell haha!

I also forget something from the store every single time. It doesn't matter if it's on my list or not, it's always something! Ugh!

Whitney said...

I hate checking my mail. I never forget, I just hate doing it. I live in an apartment complex, so I have to walk to my box. I hardly ever get anything anyway. I usually go about 3-4 days without checking it. My mailman must hate me lol

I don't mind doing laundry, even though I wait until I have a huge pile of clothes before I do it. One thing that I really hate is dishes :( I make my boyfriend do them lol :)

Mrs. Pick said...

You're cracking me up girl! I am so with on #1 and 3!!!! Speaking of...I think there's some laundry I forgot from Sunday!

Jordan said...

LOL! Hey, as long as your hubby doesn't mind, who cares?! Plus, I'm pretty sure my hubs would prefer breakfast in the morning over ironed clothes ANY day! :)

Ashton said...

I am the WORST housewife as well! You're not alone at all! When we first got married, Buck discovered I don't own an iron (for the same reasons as you) and he abruptly stopped the conversation and went to Wal-Mart to buy one. I love my sleep, procrastinate laundry and dishes, and cleaning... Buck does them more than I do.. Hmm!

Jessica @ Acting Adult said...

I feel like I could have written this post. If hubs had to get up that much earlier than me, I'd go back to sleep too! And ironing? FORGET IT. I don't even attempt it.

Tammi said...

You crack me up! No really, I laughed outloud several times, as I can totally relate. However, there are a couple of things I'm almost scared to admit, in the off chance you might think I'm not normal. Yes, I do love to do laundry, washing that is. But I absolutely hate folding clothes. Hence why I iron almost everything. I know, I'm crazy, but it's true. I even iron Casey's work clothes and Hunter's play around the house clothes. Most people are probably thinking that it is normal to iron your husband's work clothes, which it is, but not when your husband is a rancher. With those two little quirks aside I am just your average run of the mill housewife. I never get the mail and neither does Casey, if he's up I am to, if he's working I have to be working also and I always do my makeup in the car.......

Kristin said...

You're a riot! Ok, I can fix a couple of your issues easily (not that you asked or anything :-))
1. Buy a stone to bake your bread on. It's REALLY difficult to burn anything on those. I've managed to ONCE in 11 years - and that's not b/c I'm an attentive baker either!
2. When your water bill arrives, put it's due date in your Dayplanner three days earlier than it's actually due. When I remember to do this for random bills...it always works! Plus it still gives me three days to keep forgetting about it :-)
3. Have a "laundry light". I posted about this a while ago. I always used to leave my laundry in the wash (and have to re-wash b/c everything got mildewy smelling). But then I got a very low-wattage lamp to put on (a night light would work to) ONLY when I put in a load of wash. It isn't to be used for any other reason. It also has to be somewhere where you'll see it easily and often. When the light is on, you'll be reminded to do the switcheroo. Once the clothes are all done (and out of the dryer) I turn it off. It's worked WONDERS!
Hope all that might be of some help! I think you're a dear just getting up w/ hubs that early in the morning so you can have some connection time. I'm so not a morning person...it's really rough to have any form of communication before he leaves, but when I make the effort I'm always glad I did. - And some days I go back to bed ;-) Hugs...

Ms. Emily Ann said...

Haha... I hate ironing too! And always forget about the mail! Its hard to do it all ~ we're busy girls!! And I would definitely jump back in bed... every single morning!

Stacey said...

UGH - is this a reflection of your mother?
Well I do iron!
I don't burn the bread - who does bread?
I would crawl back in bed but usually use this extra time to watch my pre-recorded shows.
Oh - Nana has a saying on the wall - Dinner will be ready when you hear the smoke alarm - She ALWAYS!!! burned the bread! So smile next time you do.

And you learned the makeup thing from me - sorry!!

Misty Michelle said...

HAHAHA!! That picture is classic!!! My poor future hubby is going to have mac-n-cheese for dinner and year round dirty clothes.. hahaha

OR.. he can hire a maid and a chef.. his call! ;)

XO -misty

tootie said...

Ha! I hate ironing, too. In fact, I can't even remember the last time I ironed. :)



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