I Would Make The Worst Housewife Ever!

I came to the conclusion this morning that I would make a terrible housewife. Let me explain…

Steven leaves for the office about 7:15 each morning – I on the other hand do not have to leave until 8:40. But I feel bad staying in the bed while he is up getting ready for his day. And we started The Zone diet yesterday which requires a lot of measuring foods and calculating portions. So I get up with him at 6:45 each morning, put on a pot of coffee and, as of yesterday, make him a warm breakfast. I don’t mind. It’s actually enjoyable to spend the morning with him before he heads out the door. It’s also rewarding to feel like I am somehow making his life a little easier each morning.

He’s out the door at 7:15 each morning which should leave me an hour and half to take my time getting ready and do a few small chores around the house before I’m out the door. That’s what a good wife would do, correct?

Well that was not the case this morning. As soon as I heard him start his truck, I threw the dogs outside, jumped back in the bed and reset the alarm for 8:00 am. If I could fall asleep quickly I would have had an additional 45 minutes sleep….

But I couldn’t fall asleep. Feeling guilty for not using this time to wash the dishes or make the bed, I laid there thinking of all the reasons I would be a terrible fulltime housewife.

1. I’m horrible about laundry. I will wash a load of clothes and forget to put them in the dryer – for a day, maybe two. When I finally remember I need to change over from washer to dryer, the clothes reek from sitting wet too long and I have to rewash them. This happens at least once a week. I swear my water bill would decrease by 20% if I could kick this habit.

2. Speaking of water bill, I never pay it on time. It is always three to five days later – without fail. It isn’t a matter of not having the money, it’s a matter of forgetting. Every other bill is paid before or on the due date, but that water bill gets me every month!

3. I don’t iron. Period. I refuse to buy clothes that need to be ironed. If I can’t throw it in the dryer for a quick refresher, then I’m not buying it. And if by some chance I purchase an item that absolutely has to be ironed, I barter with Steven so he will iron the article of clothing for me.

4. I always burn the bread: crescent rolls, garlic bread, toast, corn bread. I set the timer, I check the bread often, but somehow it always get burnt. It’s infuriating!

5. It is impossible for me to go the grocery store and get every item on my list. I make a list, I check it twice, but somehow I walk out of the grocery store missing at least one staple every single week: milk, bread, deodorant, toilet paper. It’s not something we could live without – it’s always something of vital importance and I have to go back to the store. Once again – infuriating!

6. I never check the mail. Ever. When Steven travels, our mail will literally pile up in the mail box waiting his return. I pay the bills – but I hate finding them in the mailbox so I leave this chore to the hubby.

7. I put on my makeup on the way to work each morning simply so I can get an extra 8 minutes of sleep each morning. It’s sheer laziness, but I refuse to wake up a single second earlier than I absolutely have to. So I have become quite good at driving while applying mascara.

This list could go on and on. Seriously. I wish I were the perfect wife and perfect homemaker. I don’t even want to think about what a failure I might be as a mother. My only saving grace is that I’m good at my job – really good at my job. At least I have that going for me! And I also have a hubby who has learned to eat burnt bread, is more than happy to do the ironing and doesn’t mind checking the mail each day. Thank God for good men!  :)

PS - Don't forget to enter my Metro Line 6 Photography Giveaway which ends tonight!